AFF Journey & Personal Life Update

So Wow I just realised, it's been 10 years.  Anyone here with me too? Not sure if anyone is reading but heyy take a lil break from those fanfics and be with me for a while ahahahahahh.

I was 13 when I first discovered Asianfanfics, and I was die hard EXO-L and ARMY.

But now I'm 23 and cranky, I rarely keep updated with the new gen musics anymore. My Korean song playlist also is outdated.

 

The reason why I am still here is because it's the only place I can rant my mind out beacuse yaaa no one knows me irl here. I kinda miss writing stories tbh, the younger me seems to have lots of creative narrating to spill. Looking back, I'm kinda impressed, being able to call myself a somewhat author (pardon the narcissim ahahahah)

I love writing, I love good words being well put together, I love people who knows how to have a good talk.

The previous years were all rainbows and rains. I experienced so many love, so many friendship, joy and laughters. Vice versa, the back stabbing, suspended from school, being in love-abuse relationship in college, getting back with my first school ex - only to end the relationship the same way it ended before.

And unknowingly, I just stopped writing.

In 2020, I was involved in a road accident that break my left foot and having tendon cuts - it was a bloody and fleshy mess for months - and having 2 sugeries too (leaving me with permanent tendon cut and permanent huge surgical scar). To spice it up, that moment, I just started pursuing further study for my BSc. Architecture. I was in my freakin' first week, in my first semester. I was depressed, I was in huge despair, I nearly made the decision to quit studying and just give up. But , I couldn't bring myself to. Because I was reminded of my parent's joyful reaction when they received the study offer letter. And y'all, I'm an only child :)

So I finished my first semester with a dean, tsk tsk.

And apparently, some people I just made friends with, were the sources of my strength too. Some people and someone. (to note that I am close to crying the moment I write this part)

 

Healing is a process. And I think I am a strong lady because I managed to collect my crumbled pieces together no matter what happen.

Healing is making progress, no matter how sad I will be, I won't stop coming back 10 mins later with a big smile on my face.

 

yours truly, swanz.

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Darthearts #1
Hey! I have no idea who you are but I just chanced upon this post and I honestly have to say: this post gave me so much nostalgia. I'm the same age as you and I've been here since about 2013-ish. I remember how much I used to love writing; being able to spin something out of nothing, being a puppeteer and making characters do things that I wanted them to do, it was all so fun and exciting. Then as I grew older, I found more and more fault in my writing. Nothing I wrote satisfied me. Then as I went through college, I grew busier and over time, I fell out of love with writing. But here I am now, years later, 23 years old, freshly graduated, and on the brink of adulthood. Taking a break from everything, I've started writing again. It's not great, but I'm learning to write just for the fun of it - I'm excited to fall in love with it again.

I'm so glad for you; that you've managed to overcome all these challenges in your life. Just from your words alone, I can see how much stronger you've become as a person. I'm at a point of transition in my life - I'll have to step into the adult working world soon. It's terrifying, but your words are reassuring and give me the courage to move forward in life. If a person on the internet can be this strong, so can I. From one stranger to another, I thank you and I wish you all the best for your future endeavors.
EXO_Love_97 #2
Healing is indeed a process and hello! I have also been here for a very long time (2012/13...?) I don't remember when I first found this page, because I had a different user before this one...

Anyway, have you thought about why you unknowingly stopped writing? Because it sounds to me (as the uneducated and unknowing of your life, with absolutely no right to just assume as I am about to do) like writing could have been an escape from something for you. So when life stabilized in a better way and you grew as a person, there wasn't this need for such an escape or outlet for certain areas of frustration or such :)

With the accident and all, I'm really sorry you went through that. It sounds like it was very heavy to heal from, and that it dented your mental health at the time :( But I'm glad you found your way through it!

Since I already told you what I thought about your past relationship and all in the last blog, I'll skip that. But I will say (as I can't recall having commented on that last time) that I'm glad someone has come into your life. This someone, as you referred to in your earlier blog as well, sounds like you feel is good for you and I'm glad you have found special people to keep in your life ~.^ I don't know where you are from, or who you are, but I'm glad for you! Keep sharing your happiness with the internet and you might make others happy as well.

You are indeed strong for picking up your own piece. You might have had someone or some people around you to help look, but only you can bend down while still broken and patch yourself together. Other's won't have the ability to read your puzzle, and I'm proud you managed!
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