You are still you nothing really change just the label you put on you. you still love her, you still part of her family, you want to change your name? Big deal... that's just letters on a paper and sounds uttered.
If she define you only by your gender and maybe by the person you will spend your life with then she doesn't know you.
So widen her knowledge of you ^^.
Maybe write a letter or a email so she can read it when she will be calmer?
Ask her how she defines you and reassure her.
Ask her what she is afraid of so she can think more rationnaly of it too.
She hasn't lost her child, just some incorrect vision of you...
i'm talking about the psychological's aspects. if her reaction is due to religious matters ... it will be another story and struggles I'm afraid.
I wish yu patience, determination and composure. Stick to what you think you are and show her love but be firm to the way she should considerate you and adressed you. No matter what you are, you will remain her child so she has to respect you because of it!
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