omg guys...

ITS BEEN SO LONG T.T

Ahh coronavirus got me really bored so i've started reading fanfics again >.< 

Omg i was reading my old fics  and DAMN they're terrible it hurts to read them lmaooo. So how are yall doing?? How have you all been?!!!

Im ngl over the last 4 years i really fell off kpop, right around the time BTS got big in america. I loved bts with all my heart (you can verify if you look at my old blog post about Wings and see how much time i invested into those short films xDD) but as selfish as this sounds i wanted to keep them to myself. I didn't really mind that they got big in america, but then they started releasing trash music (IN MY OPINION) like, wtf even was DNA, i hateddd that song. It was so mainstream and Pop-esque, but i fell in love with BTS because of their meaningful lyrics on songs like butterfly. I think the last songs of theirs i really liked were not today and spring day ;; 

Im not gonna lie, i did judge them for releasing DNA xD like to this day i still haven't listened to that album (apart from a few songs like gogo and pied piper which i can admit we're bops), or anything else they've released after it. Idk but i'm very anti kpop rn. I just know that with kpop it's all or nothing for me; either i'm very involved and it takes over my life, or i keep my distance. 

I devoted a lot of my teen years to loving kpop but i hid it bc back then it was weird to like kpop. I loved kpop so much i'm 100% sure it's the reason why my type in boys now are asian boys. For a while i even wanted to become an idol even though that's impossible xD

Sometimes i hate that i loved kpop so much bc that's what got me into fics and i craved a romantic relationship so badly for years, i still do tbh. But now i'm old enough to know i don't need a relationship. Kpop had me in love with idols that didn't even know of my existence - when i was younger i was so sure somehow bts was watching me at all times bc they were in love with me lmaoooo xD

I was a stan before stans were a thing. Kpop is a chapter of my life that i really enjoyed and don't regret, but it's in the past now so i don't think i'll be going back to it.

That being said, i'll still read fics from time to time :)