Sure thing that people got a lot of things to worry about. I just wanted to feel okay. I mean I'm not even looking for happiness now. Just plain okay is fine with me. It'll be more than fine. I cant bother any of my friends of what I'm going through right now and I guess writing is my only way out. It feels weird going through a day that even the simplest task there is can't be done. It is hard to wake up and it is also hard to fall asleep. I'm anxious and I even freaked out when I ordered in a fast food restaurant. 

I love my friends but I feel like I am just a burden. They were extremely patient with me. All of me including my fear of a lot of things and my temper which I believe is way unbearable for a normal person. I miss hanging out thinking about nothing but fun. I love staying at home, cooking for pleasure. I miss everything I was but it's all in the past now.

I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to be better but I also want to say goodbye. 

-Juan Tamad