Hello everyone <3

I haven't written anything in a long while and I'm very sorry about that :c I am... a little preoccupied. I've gotten myself my very first boyfriend ever and he's entirely ing me when it comes to writing. Not because he asks a lot of my time or he doesn't want me to write, but it simply won't happen. What I write is always Chanbaek and now when I'm sitting down, I can't do it. It's like my mind is completely messed up and I can't get a single page written. I have several oneshots started or even almost finished, but it doesn't feel right. Not because I don't ship the darlings anymore (I won't ever stop shipping them) but because my mind is elsewhere and all I can think of, are the moments I have with my boyfriend. And it doesn't feel right to translate those to Chanbaek because I don't like to make either of them as feminine as I am. I am apparently a lot more like a woman than I initially thought :') I kept calling myself manly and now I'm not sure why because it's not really true. 

But back to the point - I feel like I can't write Chanbaek anymore, at least not until I can separate my personal life from my writing. Although I know I could take inspiration from my own life of course and just bend it in such a way that it fits - I have been doing that up until this point as well, I think every author does - but for now, it doesn't seem to work yet. Maybe it's because I'm not used to not being alone and maybe it's because being in love is... different from what I expected it to be. ... and here I wanted to say I'm not as shy about it as I thought I would be, but when I discovered, a few days ago, that I'm actually in love, it was because I noticed I get really shy when my boyfriend looks at me. And I don't know if he does it a lot just to tease me or because he just wants to look at me but gosh. 

So anyway. I'm not not writing because I'm not well, it's completely the opposite c: I'm doing amazing and I have never felt this good in my entire life. And that's not because I have a boyfriend, but because I've been working very hard on myself and my life - and I think in turn, I got rewarded with the most wonderful guy who wants to spend time with new me c: And right now, I'm trying to write down my experiences, to not forget them and also to not completely throw writing out the window for however long this phase might take ^^' 

Thank you for reading my rant and I hope you'll have a wonderful day! <3