Ok so to recap things. 

Vanillasushi deactivated, pcyosh is moving out of aff and all my mutuals - except two? I need to check up on one of them- deactivated on AFF and some of them literally just stopped writing altogether and deleted all their accounts everywhere.

I can't help but wonder if it's worth staying here. If it's worth working damn hard on my unfinished and slow fanfics here since I don't really have my mutuals to turn to if i want to talk about my writing. 

It feels like AFF is an island where I used to party with my pals and they all left one by one (and in some cases, simultaneously) And I have no way to contact most of them - not a message, nothing - and i'm just so confused?????? And it took me years to make really nice pals here and seeing it all gone... i don't know what to say. 

I'm not sure I want to stay anymore. Besides, it's not like I update as much as I used to, and even if my stories still seem to attract people, with what's going on, i feel discouraged and don't want to continue. 

I'm not leaving yet, but... I don't know. I don't know what to do. I just had to get this out.