...from survivor to healer...

And there's a patient who has bipolar disorder....

I realized this might be my case as I am depressed most times but I have manic episodes when I write and I actually get things done. 

Also my Facebook posts contradict themselves very often. Don't think there's someone else but me to notice that. 

God, please send me one more manic episode so I can finish this children's book draft, pretty pleaseee????? I have 3 more stories left :(((!!!! 

Well, I think this is the case of being such a twisted person. 

Ah I feel really light at heart now that I know what is happening to me. 

So it's probably bipolar disorder with sad component predominant. 

But during the manic episodes I can be pretty cursing and destructive, hating everyone and everything. 

I didn't get to see a doc in 13 years... Even when I needed certificate for being admitted in the order of biochemists I couldn't find that person there only the assistant who was doing most of the paperwork for him...and my mom kept rushing me to go home...

But now that I saw doudou's drama... I'm feeling at ease... 

But I wouldn't be so weirded out if there wouldn't be this thing : during these episodes I like different people. 

When I'm super sad and depressed I keep telling myself I like Deng Lun's Zixu ( and I gooddamn like him very much, where does one find a bf like him?)  And when I'm manic I like Juntae from III  and fangirl over him... I recently bought cards and want to study more Korean... Just that I've been getting my period and I don't have the energy to fangirl as much as I usually do. 

Damn. I need that sugar rush like naoooo!