Hi.

This is my latest blog update and im actually not sure what to say.

I may not makes sense but still, I want you to read...

I don't know if this is writer's block or not but i haven't updated my ongoing fics and I haven't posted a new story recently.

Looking back to the fics I already posted here, I rekindled the feeling whilst reading the stories I made before.

 

I was once a reader and now I forgot the very reason why I write stories in the first place.

I enjoyed reading Kamenajin's stories. Although im not sure if I wrote her LJ's username correctly but she's a famous Eunhae writer. I registered in LJ to follow her stories before.

Since im not updated in LJ anymore and stopped posting in there, idk anymore.

Maybe because I didn't read the ending of one of her stories, I decided to write my first Eunhae story that soon followed by many more stories afterwards.

I didn't know that I had it in me. Sure, I've written a short story before. Of me. In my little notebook but I burned it when my mother saw and read it. On impulse. An embarrasing impulse while crying.

I have a very playful imagination. And maybe because I'm immature even though I'm old enough to be mature but, I always have this weird things in my head and fortunately, writing became a medium for me to not keep everything inside my head.

And so my journey in writing began.

I wrote Eunhae at first because the first fanfic Ive read was a Eunhae story and I am a Eunhyuk bias therefore, a top!hyuk was my ideal at the time.

But the weirdest thing was the abrupt changes in viewing Eunhae.

My ideals of Hyuk being dominant and manlier than Hae suddenly changed. And soon, before I could realize it, it was already too late.

I began writing HaeHyuk instead.

And for me, a top!hae makes sense more than a top!hyuk instead.

So, I am now a haehyuk writer. ^^

But love is love. And it is given both ways--(but i do mind since my world turned upside down--hae still rules as my manlier!top).

 

Anyways, I am not only going to talk about the seasons change in my Eunhae/Haehyuk pairing.

Im writing this blog to talk about my other OTPs as well.

Im a suju fan and all pairings in suju are close to my heart that is why i also wrote them and included them in my stories.

Im also a VIXX's fan and a Leo shipper. I find Ken cute and his interactions with Leo that is why I paired them together.

Im a TVXQ's fan as well and they are the first kpop group I met (in tv). But I was addicted to rock music then and our cable in my grandparents house got cut off that was why I forgot about them for a while.

Later, I fell for yunjae~^^

 

Moving on, writing stories is my way of Expressing my love for my OTPs.

I usually find myself drifting off and got lost in the pool of my imaginations.

And so to remember them because I am a forgetful person, I wrote them when the inspiration kicks in.

I know my stories revolves mostly around fluffs, cheesy and romance. And although I hate watching horror films that have brutal scenes like blood spilling and so on, i like writing them. The psychopath in me has awakened. *evil laugh

And you guys might think that some of my stories doesn't make sense, it's because it doesn't.

I write because I want to see my imaginations comes to life. What scenarios I think and visualizes in my head, I put them down into words.

Of course, since i don't know much english and my lack of vocabulary , i still tried to write them down.

Mind you, Im a forgetful person. I search words again and again if I forgot about their use and meaning. It's kind of tiring actually but, it does grow on you. It refreshes my memory but quickly vanishes when I don't use them often.

So... there are stories that I am proud of writing and was totally surprised that I wrote something like that.

And there are some that i find myself asking, 'What the hell did i write?'

Whenever I write, I just spaced out and my fingers just type on its own.

It's weird, right? But most of the time, I'm like that.

Like a feather, floating and swaying in the wind freely.

I write effectively when I am inspired or when I have an adrenaline rush in terms of finding an inspiration to start writing or when I find myself falling in love with something I find, whether it be through music, through my crushes, and in anime or games.

But nowadays, I find writing difficult. I know I've matured in terms of writing (based on the way I write recently) but my old writing skills were more... carefree, free-spirited, and naive. That is why i always go back and read them again and again when i feel like im losing myself on the way.

It gave me something to go on. A strength of sort even though I cringe from embarrassment rereading them.

There was something in my old stories before that I couldn't find in my stories now. Maybe thinking too much is the key factor.

Cause like i told you, I write in ecstacy, like I'm high. I just write and wakes myself up when I'm done.

I also don't want to leave them unfinished. Cause when I do, i tend to forget what I've already written and forgot what I should do next.

I sometimes left notes but the feel or the urge to continue stops when i stop writing them.

That is why I mostly write one-shot nowadays.

When I start to make stories, I want to end it as soon as I start it but it wasn't easy.

There was one time that I was really submerged into writing that i drowned myself in writing like a dead man, badly wanting to finish the story before it leaves me. In the end, the ending was a bit rushed. Hehe.

I had a lot of my unifinished chaptered fics in my folder but i was afraid that i couldn't complete it if i hastily upload it.

So, Im apparently working on one... maybe two or three chaptered stories right now but im taking baby steps in writing them.

I will probably post them when i think it's time for me to do so.

So please wait for it patiently.

 

Right now, ill focus more on making one-shots.

 

What else to say?

 

It has been a long time since Ive updated my blog so... i guess, ill end it from here. ^^

I know this blog is kind of has a weird ending... i actually don't know how to...

Ill say that this is my journey in writing so far. ^^

Ill make more stories in the future~~!

 

 

Thank you for reading~^^