LEE HAKWON, ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE BOYS?

mentions of anxiety disorder and body image issues.

lee hakwon
a 440 ✕ 100 pic of..... anything tbh. idk why i put this here??
︿
lee hakwon is good at being good and has been doing a good job at hiding behind his 'good' shell. inside, there is a boy who withers away at his own insecurities and builds a good reputation on pills that surpress his constant anxiety. always on his toes; loud noises call for small yelps from shock and heavy breathing to remind himself that he's alive. yet no one knows of this internal struggle between eating too much and too little at the same time. having body image issues tears hakwon apart in ways no one has seen; not that he wants anyone to.
a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your chosen faceclaim.
a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your faceclaim.
full name lee hakwon (이학원)
aliases 
kwon · a nickname coined at an early age due to its similar sound and convenience as compared to his name. usually used to sign off notes, letters and official documents. also used verbally by international students who have difficulty pronouncing his name, hakwon.
twig · a title used for teasing at his body image. often used in an affectionate tone, despite its negative connotations. this name tends to hit him right in the chest, to the point he keeps tabs on how many times a day does this name interrupt his living.
other · gay (clarification: his affectionate demeanor and emotional sensitivity puts some people off, assuming his uality.)
d.o.b march 9 (17)
birthplace tokyo, japan
hometown seoul, korea and incheon, korea
ethnicity korean
 
faceclaim na jaemin (나재민)
backup fcs kim seungmin (김승민), yoon sanha (윤산하) and bae jinyoung (배진영)
height & weight 179cm and 60kg
characteristics defined bone structure and gifted body proportions; however scrawny with only soft muscle built up in his limbs. skin smooth yet constellations made of bruises.  owns a smile that would be cruel not to kiss. walks like he has all the time in the world. hands in his pockets. a light air to his step and surrounding. speaks with a soft sterness at a lower register. (clarification: think bae joohyun's speech patterns.)
style plain tees, paired with a hoodie or jacket, and fitted denim jeans, sometimes sweatpants when everything is in the washer. only owns one pair of white nike air force ones and couples them with white socks. hair is usually kept at a neat length, fringe trimmed just as they meet his brows. (aesthetics: solid colours of monochrome, beige and blues. think boy-next-door.)
year second (11th grade)
transcript since the beginning of lee hakwon, he's always been good; a good son. a good student. a good sportsman. a generally 'textbook' good guy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is always ready to give both his effort and time. perhaps that is the reason why he is an all time favorite of teachers, parents and students alike – hakwon is reliable and highly intelligent, with his gentle touch of sincerity and tenderness for those around him. holding doors for barely antiquated students and staying back to assist the teacher's packing up after class had ended – lee hakwon is good at being good. 
 
jersey number 09 (alternatively: 03)
position defender
division jv
past seasons a look into their lacrosse career. when did they start playing? have they always had the same position they do now? it's just like a character background, only exclusive to lacrosse.

hakwon's interest in the sport can be traced back to the days when he was a little boy who would paw at the television set with its bright screen brushing against his soft button nose – it would be turned to the sport channel, a lacrosse game airing live. this continues throughout hakwon's childhood, where he watches game after game and idolizes players. his mother always did urge him to start playing it for himself, but he never did due to his fear of being bad at his favorite sport. so young hakwon sat back and watched as other boys from the neighborhood would be playing a game with their fathers and brothers.

one day, hakwon decides to stop staring and start striving.

his first year at mhs finds him placed in the c-team and he tries fighting the embarrassment of having the smallest frame among his beefier teammates – till this day, hakwon hasn't won the fight, even now in jv.
 
a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.
personality analysis
extremely sensitive & easily attatched
– min nahyun
passionate · diligent · affectionate

ravenclaw: thoughtful, the pellucid, the strategist
strategic foresight and reads into everything
(tl;dr: think bae joohyun meets hwang hyunjin.)

background 

(tl;dr: raised by a basically single mother and has always been a troubled boy.)
 
having married out of love, min nahyun follows her husband, lee seongjoon, over the sea and to tokyo, japan to allow his easy access to the business he co-owns with his friend and business partner. at the start, nahyun had to take on a few odd jobs but as the company grew, so did the money. soon enough the couple found themselves to be more than finacially stable to have a child and so they did – lee hakwon was then planted. the first four years of hakwon's life was spent in tokyo; learning japanese due to the initial intention of raising him in japan. however when min nahyun's father was hospitalised, she had to rush back to korea to take over the traditional family business. that was the beginning of the distance drawn as circumstances didn't allow seongjoon to follow his family back home. they came to the conclusion that nahyun would be a better parent to hakwon and decided that he'd follow her to korea. leaving her husband behind, min nahyun returned to her roots and re-planted her sprout. it didn't take long for the young toddeller to adjust to the new environment, even briefly forget his father's existence as he spent his childhood chasing other kids his age and helping his mother dig out weeds.

the life of lee hakwon proceeds to be rather 'textbook' – a rather uneventful life until he turned thirteen. he was young but still aware that his heart shouldn't be pouding till his ears would ring and his head would hurt. something was wong. after finding her son curled up, sobbing and so tensed that he couldn't unclench his fists for the seventh time, nahyun decided to take hakwon to see a doctor. turned out, hakwon has an anxiety disorder, most probably stemmed from the sudden absence of his father. once medication and therapy was introduced to hakwon's life, physically, he started getting better. negative thoughts were easier to control and so were his emotions.

things were looking up for hakwon until he turned fifteen, where his insecurites regarding his body truly began. as his peers matured with broadened shoulders, hakwon was left behind with narrow shoulders. despite his mother's words, 'they matured physically but you matured mentally; you will have your time.', it wasn't enough as his impulses took over and hakwon started unhealthy diets. this carries forward into his current lifestyle, espeacially so now that he is in a sport that he has adored since he was a child. setting up the farmer's market, lacrosse training and maintaining an average of b grades is not easy; hakwon leads a life like any student athelete and a farmer's son – he's busy.
 
miscellaneous
diagnosis · general anxiety disorder (clarification: sees a professional doctor every month to get his medication and to check in his mental wellfare – was diagnoised when he was thirteen.) and takes pills everyday to mellow out his symptoms.
insecurity · major body image issues as he finds himself too lanky which results in unhealthy diets and binging in attempts to gain bulk, causing emotional instability as well.
other · a commutes by bicycle.
· cries to relief stress and does so rather regularly, espeacially in private.
· bag contains every single essential such as a small first-aid kit, several snack bars and extra cash in the event that his peers ask for those items (clarification: he prepares for the worst.).
· actively avoids adding anything negative to the conversation due to his fear of pulling everyone down with him.
· has an extremely accurate memory – remebers birthdays and allergies, among other things, of those around him.
· feels the need to stuff his hands in his pockets due to his constant body temperature of freezing cold.
· irritable during lacrosse games and training – right when it ends, his pleasant nature returns.
· does not understand why his actions are seen as 'gay' or 'flirting' as he views those choices as second nature.
· takes a lot of pictures of his friends, mom and most importantly his cat, mawoo.
· easily startled by loud sounds and sudden touches; will yelp in shock.
 
another 500 ✕ 100 pic. did it for the #aesthetic... again.
 
support system
remember that you are always making up the future as you go
– randall munroe
lee seongjoon · min nahyun · moon cheolwoo

full name lee seongjoon (이성준)
age & occupation 50 and businessman
established a notification for a monthly bank transfer is the only time hakwon is reminded that he has a father. neither father or son have spoken for years. however seongjoon is well aware of hakwon's achievements. in contrast, hakwon does not even know where his father resides in in japan while on business.

full name min nahyun (민나현)
age & occupation 45 and farmer
established both are too busy to sit down to have a proper meal together. nahyun is packed with keeping her farm and weekend market in check (clarification: she owns the farm that sells produce every weekend.) while hakwon has lacrosse. efforts are made spend time together, especially by hakwon helping his mother in the farms and at the market when lacrosse practice doesn't eat up at his weekend hours.

full name moon cheolwoo (뮨철우)
age & occupation 37 and  head coach
established guilt surrounds their relationship. cheolwoo feels bad that he cannot put hakwon in varsity due to his lack in physical skill, despite his beyond excellent tactics and strategies. hakwon feels bad that he cannot perform to what is expected of him. thought cheolwoo has a soft heart? have you met him when he's wiith hakwon? cheolwoo offers to assist hakwon in physical training, but hakwon is too stubborn and doesn't wish to trouble anyone.
 
a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.   a 100 ✕ 100 icon of your character's love interest.
intertwined relation
soulmates aren't just lovers
– ryn weaver
mao · won haeil · hong yeeun


(tl;dr: basically hakwon's distant family.)
 
full name mao (), or mawoo (마우)
established 
the stray kitten was found by hakwon just before he enrolled into mhs. mawoo remained nameless for months before hakwon had brought back a friend of his, jiwoo, who named him after 'cat' in chinese. ever since, hakwon and mawoo have formed a close relationship where the cat does his best to stay within a meters radius of hakwon. 

hakwon is often seen taking mawoo out on walks, attatched to a leash, due to hakwon's paranoia that mawoo will take these chances to run away. which has never happened. in fact, mawoo has been under house arrested due to his attempts of following hakwon to school in the morning. however by evening, during lacrosse practice, you will be able to spot mawoo sitting silently on the benches, never taking his eyes off his owner.

close friends of hakwon will tell you that the most annoying thing about him is that he never shuts up about his cat – neither does the whole town since mawoo has developed into the farmer's icon, which min nahyun is grateful for as the cat brings in more attention and customers; hakwon even runs an instagram account for mawoo and the farmer's market.

full name won haeil (원해일)
established 
childhood friends that found each other through elementary school and have stayed acquainted since. as children, they often had lunch together and haeil would nod solemnly as hakwon would share about his lunch and how his mother found a wild hare in the cabbage patch. haeil remembers finding this chats irrelevant but when he saw the glint of excitement in hakwon's eyes and the spread of the boy's smile, he let it slide.

as they grew, hakwon started to see haeil as a figure to follow. to say haeil was one of hakwon's influences to pursue lacrosse would not be far-fetched. both boys share a strong level of respect for one another and for the same reason: the both of them try. perhaps that is the reason why both of them stayed in each other's lives. despite that, haeil is also one of the reasons for hakwon's body insecurities. it causes hakwon distress whenever he sees haeil's muscular built.

admittedly, hakwon and haeil aren't as close as they had been when they were ten but whenever haeil catches a glimpse of hakwon durig one of their team dinners, concentrating on the fish on his metal spoon and meticulously removing the bones before passing it to him; haeil feels an unfamiliar warmth that spreads through his body. nostalgia? safety? haeil never can put his finger on this feeling.

full name hong yeeun (홍예은)
established 
thanks to haeil, yeeun was able to find her 'son', hakwon. to put it lightly, yeeun babies hakwon to no end which praises and sometimes a kiss on the top of his head. this began when yeeun met hakwon after lacrosse practice on one of the days he is bruised and caught a cold in the rain earlier that morning. yeeun's eyes fixed on the boy's flushed cheeks from the fever and the rest is history.

yeeun entertains hakwon's gushing about mawoo and allows him to feel taken care of, in spite of his protest. in return, hakwon makes sure yeeun's needs are met, always reading in-between the lines to pick up on anything that the girl never brings up. taking care of yeeun is only evident when the girl is on her period – it is during this time that hakwon happily grabs yeeun a steaming cup of coffee, hands her a few heat pads from his bag as haeil carries her school bag.

it's a rather strange sight to see a third year treat a second year as though he is ten years younger. nevertheless it is a heartwarming sight.
potential attachment
if someone makes you feel, let them
– reyna biddy
an qiu

full name an qiu (安丘), or ahn jiwoo (안지우)
d.o.b january 20 (18)
faceclaim song yuqi (宋雨琦)
 
personality analysis
i don't know what's going on but it's a lot.
– ahn jiwoo
patient · melancholic · resilient

hufflepuff: responsible, the mercurial, the lover
relaxed hindsight and takes things lightly
(tl;dr: think son seungwan meets min yoongi.)
 
transcript as one of the few transfer students in mhs, ahn jiwoo is considered to have a rather low profile. compared to her fellow chinese students and chippy cheerleaders, ahn jiwoo manages to blend in well into the crowd. what does stand out about jiwoo is her humble and laid back nature. from her reputation, she is perceived as largely unproblematic and a pretty little thing, ahn jiwoo is sought after when you need a cheerful partner during lab lessons – even more so when you are in need of an experienced flyer at the top of your pyramid to put on an excellent performance.

established 
    
(tl;dr: a slow, soft burn.)  
 
past 
the bleachers was where they met; hakwon was waiting for his turn for lacrosse try outs while jiwoo was waiting for cheer practice to begin. conversation began seamlessly with hakwon being the one who had initiated. starter topics were lightly touched upon but the one that had caught on was hakwon's stray cat that he had found two months ago. a few more words were exchanged before jiwoo exclaimed at the fact that the cat was still unnamed. it was them that hakwon's name was called out by one of the coaches – 'maybe you could think of some names and we can talk again!'

that opening for a second meeting invited jiwoo into hakwon's home, where his nameless cat resides. perhaps she had been feeling mischievous that day and decided to name the cat, 'cat', in chinese. they spent the rest of the day studying in hakwon's bedroom, having squeezed comfortable on his cramp study table with mawoo taking a long nap in jiwoo's lap.

present
aside from occasional study sessions at hakwon's house, hakwon and jiwoo barely bump into each other due to conflicting class venues and timetables. perhaps distance does make the heart grow fonder as jiwoo begins developing a bit of a crush on hakwon. all of a sudden those rushed morning conversations before the bell rings makes jiwoo look forward to going to school and seeing hakwon training during cheer practice makes her want to work harder; that was how she knew. however it isn't a mindless crush where jiwoo feels out of control – in fact she feels more in control with him around, almost shy.

this introduced shyness results in jiwoo leaving anonymous love letters taped on hakwon's locker. these notes are taped on with yellow painter's tape and are written on light blue post-it-notes in black ink with sweet wishes signed off as 'aq' (artifact one: dear hakwon, i see that you're wearing a new hoodie today! it looks good, careful not to get it dirty though! ~ aq). she leaves a note everyday, usually written during class and stuck on his locker before he heads to lacrosse practice.

the first time hakwon saw the notes, he thought the whole situation was rather embarrassing; his cheeks heated up as his heart took damage from the letter. as the letters became frequent, hakwon's initial embarrassment has faded and he now looks forward to the notes (artifact two: dear hakwon, you seem a little down today; don't think you can hide from me. i hope my note cheers you up, you always seem happy when you read them. pure happiness – it looks good on you. ~ aq). it isn't the first time hakwon has received love letters and declarations but to have one as consistent and sincere as 'aq' is by far flattering.
 
future 
in classic lee hakwon fashion, he does thorough investigation on 'aq' and it doesn't take him long to find out that it has been jiwoo that has been leaving notes on his locker – not because someone ratted her own but because she's horrible at lying and cleaning her prints before leaving the scene (clarification: she uses the yellow painter's tape as tabs and blue post-its for her notes.). instead of confronting her, he lets her continue to leave him notes and confess in her own time.

the confession does come out eventually and hakwon turns jiwoo down. normally this would cause a huge rift in the relationship; however with hakwon and jiwoo, he is gentle so as to not hurt her and she simply accepts facts and moves on quietly. this declaration of feelings does initiate their friendship to delve in deeper, purposefully spending more time together by studying ay hakwon's home and hanging out right after.

with more time spent, hakwon is starting to see what jiwoo sees; love (clarification: he never admits to the words love; strange for such an affectionate guy.). it becomes evident to him that this love doesn't make his heart skip a beat – in fact, she makes him want to be more honest. from a guy who only ever recieves requests and refuses to ask for help, hakwon opens up slowly by asking jiwoo for assistance in holding his phone when his hands were full. for hakwon, the act of trusting someone else and seeking their comfort is a big step for him and jiwoo welcomes it warmly by naturally going along with his development.

there comes a day when hakwon and jiwoo are both sitting in his bathtub, fully dressed and soaking their tired feet in hot water after practice when he decides that he's had enough of courting and beating around the bush – he likes ahn jiwoo and it's time he tells her. as hakwon walks her back to her dorm, it finally slips and all jiwoo says in response is , 'i thought you'd never ask.', with a bright smile.
 
miscellaneous 
cheerleader · on the main mhs cheerleading team and does cheerleading support for all sporting events of mhs, including the lacrosse game they had lost.
mawoo · the cat generally is aloof towards anyone who isn't hakwon and in spite of that, mawoo loves jiwoo enough to tail them whenever hakwon walks her back to her dorm after their study sessions. 
shanghai · often goes back to her hometown during school breaks and her korean does have a bit of an accent.
insecurity · after admiting his body image issues, jiwoo runs with hakwon on the weekends and tries her best to share similar meal plans  so as to help him and follow him through healthier habits and mindset.
bath & bed · main hangout spots – bathtub for soaking sore feet and relaxing massages and bed for watching youtube and napping.
min nahyun · hakwon's mother is aware that he is bringing back the same girl over to his room every other day and she likes jiwoo and knows the both of them are mature enough so she has no complaints.
assistance · hakwon arranges jiwoo's hair and often opens bottles of water for her while she warms up his cold hands by holding them and is the one that orders food when his anxiety gets bad.
support · she is always the one who has to encourage him that everything will be fine when he admits to her that he's scared.
pda · subtle but definite physical affection by linking arms, mainly jiwoo initiating cheesy compliments and physical affection as compared to hakwon.
(tl;dr: think wenrene.)
afterthoughts 10/10 feel bad because i have nothing much to comment aside from the fact that you can reach out to me to clarify anything; it's been a solid year and a half since i have written a character for an applyfic again and i might be rusty! the reason why i formated jiwoo's section as such is because their relationship is such a slow burn that i am not too sure if the end game will be included in the story, hence i arranged the app as such. regarding hakwon's body image issues, i chose not to delve into too much detail as personally, i cannot say that i have suffered as much as hakwon. however i do want to say that hakwon's case isn't extremely severe. it is something that isn't commonly addressed in the male community. as a female with the only relation to hakwon being an anxiety disorder, i chose not to write the extremes.
 
password hostage by billie eilish
kkamin · min · turn-in · cheatsheet

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