I had a super huge scare earlier. 

I thought I ate a plastic shovel from Kinder. 

I am on a sort of trying to get my meals at 7 am -10 am- 13 pm - 16 pm-19 pm new lifestyle mom wanted to try for me to lose weight. 

Because it is my birthday, I got a kinder egg. 

Well woe me cuz i have the habit to chew things and even packages. I dont know, i just chew. 

And i had the little showel squeaky clean then took it again. Ok so I also washed my head (I hate you, super oily hair) then, while i was holding that showel in my mouth,i decided i was going to change my towel bcs it was wet. 

So I think I left it down near the router which is below the place where we keep towels. 

Ok so I , suddenly, remind myself about that shovel. I searched thru bed, nothing, Searched under bed and on the table, nothing, even on vanity table. I even pulled the bed cover and shook it (and it is light colored), nothing. I go to the router, then. a goddamn kinder shovel appeared!! 

I thought I had eaten it, but i had no gag reflex nada nor did i feel something coming down. And this was after all I ate all of the chocolate and i still had it. 

Now i feel sick because of all the worry and have the impression I ate plastic :((( and i will get sick and i will get operated and i will get intestinal oclusion and sll the kinds of sorts. 

I love these Kinder eggs. 

I think universe sends me messages thru them. 

When i got hired in a hospital, i got a mouse bandaged all over. 

When I graduated my master course, I got a toy which was like an kissing emoji. and this was in june 

I also got one which looked like a cat  when i returned from vacation on 6 september. 

Today, 11 september, I got something which is like  a truck car. A truck car? Possibly means moving. 

Now i am confused, is the shovel from today or from the 6th ??? Did I ate plastic? My mother has the habit of cleaning everything so... I hope i did not. 

I had all these kinds of worries like what if i die? What if i die because of a plastic showel and my mom s obsession with me losing weight (I am overweight). 

I am also super stressed at job.  I hate everything about it. 

Today, at job, I had to give food to my workmates because it is my birthday. It was not even the noon and one of my coworkers complained, when is the food gonna arrive? I mean, it was my birthday and she was so rude to me because i told her her son she brings at work is so noisy and believe me he screams like he is posessed. On the 10th I had a malfunction and on top of that they made me work overtime after it got solved and i was alone. The nurses left at 3 and i was told from the hospital to do another analysis for a patient. I am a biochemist. So i kind of screamed at her telling her son does not allow me to concentrate. He was chasing on the hallway the son of another coworker. They should thank god that the location we have now is separated from the hospital. So she made me feel that the food is more important than me, who had her birthday today. 

Then, if i die, I want to die because of something I really love. Not because of this goddamn job. I even get memory loss because of it. If i were to die because of the shovel, then, so be it. I am sick of this world.