Yeah. I'm sorry. This blog isn't going to be super long or well written. Just a blep of what's kept me away.

First Holidays The holidays make my job extremely busy, and being with my family keeps me away too.

The next thing, well two tings, is more deep, and still hurts my heart. My sister called me up on Febuary 19th( I was working on a new chapter strangely.) She's crying and paniced. She's having contractions at 12 weeks of her pregnancy. I rushed over to her house to watch my nephew while she and her boyfriend go to the hospital. Several hours later i get a call that she's miscarried and will have a DNC in the morning.  I cried. I took my nephew to his baby sitters and waited for my sister to come back to her apartment to see if she was okay.  She was tired from the medication and her boyfriend was being an awsome support so I left went home. 

I called in from my job, it's now the 20th, exhaused from being stressed out about my sister and worring about her I needed a day to sleep. About 11:30 I get frantic texts from my mom, and at midnight she calls me. My grandpa passed away. He couldn't breathe and wasn't able to make it to the hospital in time, he died before he could get in the car. My grandpa had COPD and had been in the hospital several times before and made it out. He just couldn't make it this time.  So then I took time off work to go to California for his funeral. I cried, I still cry. I spent a week in denial that he was gone and lost sleep. That when I saw him for the last time in his bolo and his flask in his coat pocket I was devistated. Being at his house felt so empty cause he was gone. I watched my Grandma Angie ( My grandma and grandpa were divorced before I was born and my Grandma Angie is my moms step mom we've always called her grandma Angie) I watched my Grandma Angie say good bye to the man she loved and took care of. My heart broke. I cried for my mom who lost her daddy, I cried for my Grandma Angie who lost the love of her life. I cried for selfish reasons. All the memories I'll never have with him and dumb things like that. 

So 2018 has been rough. But I'm back. Oddly my best friend lost her grandpa around the same time so I've had someone to talk to about everyting.

But the rest of the year I'm looking forward too. I've made plans to see the new Avengers movie with my boyfriend and I've made plans with my bestfriend to go see Got7 live for her birthday so I'm excited.

AND I'M BACK. No more extended long vanishes. Well un warned yeah. Thanks for checking this out. And yeah :3