Ungodly hours were her time.

A staring contest with the piece of paper would embark her journey. A war would start and her only weapon was held tightly by her clammy hands. This was a war she used to win. She used to be at the top of the pedestal but she fell hard to rock bottom. She smiled bitterly at herself thinking maybe it was her time to stop. That the wars she used to win would now only belong to the past. Yet, she was stubborn. The blank piece of paper was still staring at her. Taunting her with its blankness. Empty just like how she is. She often wished that the paper would be filled once again but it won't happen. Not unless, she starts fighting again. 

So she told herself to write. 

It was not easy. It was never easy to begin with. She did not know where to start. She was lost. Deep furrows were evident in her brows and before her pen could even make contact with the paper, her demons were finally wide awake. They always knew the perfect timing. As if they were watching her closely and thought that it would be best to give her a false sense of security before they break her once again. She was never strong but she learned to be resilient. It was a hard battle and it wouldn't finish if she was unscathed. They knew her weak spots and they knew how to break her. But she still held on to her pen as if it was the last string of her sanity. The girl knew that the only way to beat them was to write them away. To put everything on that blank piece of paper but she was afraid. 

She was afraid but this time, she dared to enter the battle once again. 

There was no use in running away. She's been running away for years. Downfalls would destroy her bit by bit but she finally learned to put herself back together. She turned her fears into words hoping that it would finally set her free. She did not care if she fought a bewitching war. Wars were not supposed to be pretty anyways. Her battle scars would remain but they would be a reminder that she finally survived. The demons would still be there but she finally learned how to shush them into sleep. The wars were obliterating. But in destruction, she was finally able to create something new. 

The blank piece of paper was full of stain. From pitch-black inks that was stained by her tears, the paper was finally filled. It wasn't the best but it was better than before. The sun is finally rising and she knew that this battle was not the last. Taking one last glance to the battle field, she knew she didn't win the war but she finally conquered her fear.

Writing these days have been hard for me. I want to let out the frustration that I was feeling but I don't even know how to vent it out. So I started writing this. This piece was not supposed to be finished but I got a little push from my friend so here I am posting it here as a blog post. I know it's not beautiful but hey, I'm happy with it. I'm currently looking for a site where I could send out articles like this so if you know a site, please do tell me ^^ 

I know that it's hard being a writer but this is our passion. We just have to fight our battles and learn from them. 

-la_vie_en_rose