I just wanna say...

Ok, I don't know how many people read this, it can be even only one, but it's ok, I need to do this.
You maybe have seen that I have not updated as frequently as before, and well I wanted to talk about it now:


It happens that life and in general everything has been complicated lately, mentally (not to say emotionally) I have been exhausted, I have entered my last semester of what I'm studying in college, recently I lost someone very precious to me and I got stuck a bit with what I want to write in Above the Past.
Don't get me wrong, it does not mean I'm going to leave my fanfic, because I'm really working hard to update and finish the story, it's just that I have not found a way to get the next chapter, without it becoming a burden and finding myself in despair in front of the keyboard ... Uff
Actually the main problem is that in the begining I got too excited with "Above the past" and decided to simply publish it without having developed well enough the plot, to have complete control over it ...
You will see when I publish something is because I usually know what I want and where I'm going to take the story, every point, every scene, even the small parts, how long the fanfics will last, I plan everything well.
If you saw how really are "The Actors", "Do You Wanna Know?" In my head, you would be surprised at the many scenes that couldn't be in the final product ... But with "Above The Past" ... It's not that I don't know completely what's going to happen, but I just don't know exactly all the steps up to the "big final" and that makes me feel insecure.
I'm frustrated, because I want to finish this well, because I don't want to disappoint anyone, because I don't want to disappoint myself. "Above the past" is a serious project to me and I'm very fond of it, because... Well, it's my little baby ok? But sometimes (and very often recently) it makes me feel stuck.
Actually if you could see everything I have planned to write, everything I have written half-way through, the big list of "fanfics to do" ... I think you would feel just as frustrated as I'm, I don't want to stay stuck in this fanfic because I honestly have too many pending stories and it does not seem right to me to be negligent with any of them...

I seriously regret making you wait, especially after reading your comments, as if you had great faith in me despite not being the best writer 3

I just don't want to make more promises, but something I do want to say is that, even with all the disaster that is my life right now, I don't plan to leave my story halfway, really, just have a little patience ok? Actually, as much as you want the next chapter or the next story, I also want to update....
I would like to say also when exactly I will update but I don't know ... Although I do know I will work hard to do it as quickly as possible.

 

I just didn't want to worry you, and make you feel like I no longer care about the story, or that I've abandoned it, because it's just the opposite.

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Comments

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lemonicedtea #1
Hello :)
Someone that I know, who is one of my important person now, and a very very nice person, had said to me that its okay to take a break. Writing is something that you enjoyed doing, so forcing it now would only make you feels like its an obligation and you might ended up not enjoying it as much as you used to do. So, its okay.
I was in the same situation as you, so I can say that I understand your situation.. When you have too much things to do, and to think, I guess, it'll be better if you do complete them one by one. After all, this is a situation that we often can't control, so dealing it wisely should do the trick. I know how bad you'll feel to make your readers wait, but I am sure that they'll understands and you are a good writer, believe me when I said that people won't get tired waiting for you no matter what it takes.
Please take care of yourself first, and don't think too much about your stories. Just continue when you feel like it, and don't ever force yourself. Even if you force yourself now, you won't be happy with the outcome right? So, please, take as much times that you need. I said this before, and I'll say it again, you're a good person. Don't ever think badly about yourself. As a friend, I am really grateful of you.

Love always,
(Lemonboy) :)
filiwidi #2
just take your time...if you needed a break than do it take a hiatus of something...dont push yourself...we came here for fun, dont worries bout anything else, yours real life is yours first priority. as your reader im not going anywhere....I think I already stuck here...hahah lolz
Rainbow76 #3
Take a step back and breathe. Honestly we are all fine and with any of our favourite authors we want them to be well and not stressed. We write in completely different ways but the most important thing to remember is fan fic writing is a hobby and not a job. Concentrate on school. Come to terms with your personal matters and only then if you feel like writing then you should. We are not going anywhere so take your time ♡♡♡
ckindollah #4
Just take you time...
No rush about the story...
And yes everything will be alright ok... Just be strong and we will wait ^_^
sweetymika #5
Don't worry we will wait patiently for you. Just give yourself time to clear things inside your head then you would write again with better ideas. I'm sorry for your lost and i hope you woupd learn to cope with that. Everything will be alright dear. Just have faith in that :)
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