MY GRADES COMPLETELY ! I can't stand looking at them! I have a D+ in the only accelerated class I take, and a C- in the only AP class I take! That's absolutely terrible! I know what I'm doing wrong, I'm procrastinating. I'm Asian for God's sake! I'm an Asian girl! I'm a disgrace to my own race. WHY DO I KEEP PROCRASTINATING? 

I've tried, okay. I've honestly tried to not procrastinate, but every time I try to do work when I have the time to, my brain keeps telling me no and to lollygag instead. So I end up doing what my brain tells me to do and only finish things last second. If I don't finish assignments last second, I end up waiting another week or two before actually working on them again when I only need to write like 5 sentences to complete most late assignments.

I feel like a failure. Some people might think I'm overreacting over two bad grades, but I can't help it. I desire a succsessful life and apparently more knowlage equals a better life (more income), so I want good grades, I need good grades. My family right now is struggling with financial problems, so I want to be someone my parents are proud of. I'm envious of the kids who don't need to work as hard as others to be more succsessful because they're better at comprehending and remembering things.

Last trimester, my grades were okay, I had one A, three A-'s, a B, and a B-. My goal for now is to have at least three A's and nothing less than a B. My cumulative GPA was a 3.6111. I swear I would've cried if my GPA was less than 3.5. My class rank is 98 out of 433, and I feel so bad about that. I really wish to be at least top 50 or so, but I'm not. My goal was to get into the top 50 this tri, but from the looks of it, I'll be even further up the list. All of my friends have way better ranks than me, heck I'm even friends with the #1 student, so I feel really awful about my rank. 

I'm no where near being proud of myself. I know I'm not doing the best that I can. I don't understand why I'm not doing the best I can. I tried to be nice to myself and told myself I'm doing okay, and that I need to do better, so I should start off with baby steps. It isn't working, so I've decided that I need people to call me a failure.

Please tell me I . Tell me I'm a failure. Tell me I need to step up my game and get my act together.