I never thought I could cry so much the day I found out but yesterday was good because I had distractions and I ended up thinking I wouldn’t cry again but I found it so difficult to sleep through the night since I couldn’t seem to get him out of my head 
I would wake up and feel so much pain because constantly he is the only thing in my head and I hurt 
SHINee has been apart of my life for so long and Jonghyun has been my biggest idol ever since 
I don’t know when it will become easier to think about and I wish today was the day that the pain would ease even if just a little 
I am so sorry to all of us shawols that are going through this but I’m so happy to say that Jonghyun did well and worked hard and for that I am so proud 
He’s left what he’s left and I’m thankful for it I just wish this wasn’t the circumstance