I really don't know where to start... I don't even know if I should be writing this but I have been feeling so sad and I have been crying almost two days without stop so I think I kind of needed some realese and I usually do that by writing so... if you feel offended about the topic please stop reading now. 

I have know SHINee since I started on kpop but I become a Shawol only four years ago, in that time that I get to know them and their music and I fall in love with them, with everyone and even when my bias is Minho I always watched and supported all and each of their individual works, some months ago there was this issue with Onew and I feel so upset about how people attack him and I just keep on waiting and praying for the day the five of them will be together again...

I just got to know about the news becuase a friend sent me a message, I had been out of internet for all the weeked and that was the first message I received when I opened my  msg, it was vague at first only saying she was crying since she saw the news and I was confused about it but for some reason I thought in SHINee right away, and then she said if I hadn't seen the news about Jonghyun and I only can think oh god please let it be any other Jonghyun not Jjong and when I opened my facebook it was all over the place, I couldn't believe it... I still couldn't believe it , it took me a moment to fully understand what I was reading and then I break up crying, I had been crying since yesterday I woke up at 5 am thinking it had to be a nightmare and crying some more I can´t help it I just don't understand... but at the same time I do, I understand the pain, the loneliness because there had been times I had been there to close to the same idea that caused Jonghyun's death... but in that times I had had SHINee music to cheer me up I wish Jonghyun had someone to cheer him up, to help him with the pain and loneliness he was feeling...

I feel sad and lonely now because people don't understand why I'm so hurt from this, they tell me not be sad but I can't help it and even when they can't understand my sadness I just want them to respect my grief, so this post is if you want to share your grief to feel free to do it you know you will be not judged and finally...

You did great Jonghyun, perfect, you were so talented and kind, an extraordinary human being, and overall you are so loved, I hope you can find peace, I love you know and forever.