Caught in a lie
Pull me from this hell
I can’t be free from this pain
Save me, I am being punished

I never thought my life gonna be like this.. I miss my childhood days.. No worries.. Do not thinking anything, just playing around with friends with toys.. But why its ended up like this?

I'm living with my sister a year ago. Dec'16, I'm moving out and live near to workplace. I know my sister make a loan with loan shark. I advice her don't be reckless, you can try find another way but she asked me, what way? But I can't think anything that time and she told me, "See? I told you, there is no other way". I just give up and let her do what she wanna do. 2weeks after that, she back from somewhere bring 2k of money, around $490 us dollar. I remind her, don't you forget to pay every month because thing might become mess if you didn't pay. Why bad feeling always right?

Last week. her loan shark come find me at office. All eyes on me. I'm so embarrased. But how come they have my adress?? I asked them why you find me? why don't you find her? She the one who indebt not me! What they say really disturb me..They said that I'm her grantor. What the hell?? I never go with her to that loan place, even give my signature or what. They show me my photocopy of my ID and my form as grantor. I'm too shock to proceed what happen but then I realize my sister take my ID when I'm sleeping. She trick me, she betrayed me, she lost my trust, she show how cruel people gonna be to their own flesh.

That night, I go to her house asking for an explanation but instead I got her empty house. She ran..She ing ran away living me with her debt!!! and it too cruel..if it just 2k, I can still try to find money but now the debt become 10k because she just pay for 1st & 2nd month only. So its been 10months already.. waaa how I'm gonna find the money. Everyday I'm crying..too afraid to go out..sometime i feel like someone watching me..I really afraid. Ican't call police since there is my ID and you know loan shark usually have their own security, they have big build guy that will smashed everyone anything if people try funny thing on them. What can I do..I don't have really close friend that can give me money without valid reason or trust..I can't make a loan at bank..I've tried a lot of bank, RHB,CIMB,Maybank...all of them need salary 2k above..even RHB with lowest salary 1.5k, i still can't make big loan..I just can make loan for 1 or 2k..I don't have place to share my story..this like blog to me since no one know me,no one point their finger at me without knowing the real situation..I'm glad I talk at this place even tho I know maybe no one read this..Its okay I'm not writing for people to notice me just to release burden on my shoulder..I've always laugh wactching  and comment about bts and jimin because they the only reason I got forget my problem for a while.