Well, as some of you may know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. It's the worst combination, for real, and it's been really hard for me to survive during these days. I lost my job a couple of months ago and that made me feel very useless.

My family depends a lot on me, even though my mom's a professional lawyer, she is too old and no one is offering her a decent job. My two brothers are still studying and both are trying hard to pass their subjects because we can't afford sending them to the university to repeat a course... My dad doesn't give us money to eat or to pay bills, so, they actually depend a lot on me.

I'm always stressed and depressed. Why did this happen to me? I'm a teacher, for those who don't know, and I've been applying for different jobs at schools, even at a university. I wish I had saved more money while I was still working because it's hard to survive like this. 

I stopped having my medicine like a year ago because I was still working during that time; indeed, my mind was busy with something else and that's why I didn't need them pills. Right now, I spend my days laying in my bed and I wish I were working at school instead because I can't help but think I'm useless like this and that I'm a burden to my family.

I want to keep writing but sometimes I don't feel the energy to do it. My inspiration is gone. I would love to leave home. I sometimes think there's no reason for me to be alive. People with my condition fight for their lives every day, believe me or not, and it only gets harder and harder as time goes by.

Forgive me if I make you wait for updates so much. I know I have really awesome readers and I appreciate your support so much <3 but sometimes I can't help but fall in this dark pit.. I appreciate positive comments here and on ao3 too tho, so I wanted to say: Thank you so much for your patience, everyone, I love you and I do hope I can improve this side of myself.

I'm doing a promise now and that is to give a 100% of me in my fic writing. Hopefully, I'll be updating "In My Dreams" soon and as I said before, I'm going to start crossposting my fics on ao3.

So please, keep supporting me and once again thank you for your patience.

CloudM~