hi peeps! Its been awhile i login here and thank god i still rmmber the id and password hahaha. I have nowhere to talk abt this so here i come. To let out my feelings. I feel heavy and stuffing inside cz too much. Lets start dig more into this problem of mine.

I have a bestfriend. She's been with me thru up and down, bad and good moments. Same goes to me, we basically texting everyday. Until reach part when i miss to have someone next to me I'll imagine her to be that person (is that wrong?). Slowly i feel like I started to get jealous when i dun get enuf attention, when she focus more on kpop (as much silly this can be but yeah) hahah 😂😂😂,. I dont like the feeling cz it was not supposed to be there. I should not have any feeling with her, we just friend. And funny what, we even made a promise that whenever one of us fall in love with each other, we should contain and not express it, keep it by yourself as we dun want to ruin the friendship we have. Hahahah

day after day, i feel suffocated and i want to tell her, but knowing it can ruin the friendship that i treasure i halt myself. I keep myself busy and away from her attention. And then i got new job! I meet new people and i meet this one girl, we can call her as A. So yeah A is fcking beautiful and she so elegant like totally out of my reach. I thot that i only admire her appearance but when i get to know her more, i starting to like her attitude as well. She is like perfect! 😍 We are getting closer  to each other, went out to have dinner, hanging out after work, went to charity event together. Can say that I'll say 'YES' to everything she ask me lmao. Whipped .

i told abt A to my friend and my friend reaction is not that good. She basically not give much feedback and seems uninterested with that, make me upset. Cz i always gave reaction to her story and even when she's talking abt crush, ill always support her (i dun like it honestly) 😅😅

Things going on.. i still text with my besties everyday, every minutes as we both keep talking and i also have moments with A, have a lunch, accompany her to everywhere and tonight specially we went to watch movie together. Damn! I feel my heart gonna burst when she keep sitting close to me and u know how a person lean towards you. You can feel the touch and heat from their body lol 😂 😂😂 i feel butterfly in my stomach when she basically just an inch away from me. I swear if i turn my head, im probably gonna kiss her cheek 😂😂..  but things is after cinema, and everythg, i feel bad when i texted my bestie (i told her im home). Im not doing anythg but i fewl like i did wrong. I feel like im actually hanging on the hope that me and bestie gonna make it in future. Which i think nowhere, useless except she confess to me first. I wont take the first action. 

So suffocated.

sincerely, 

bubblyblanky