I Am Tired...

Hi y'all, miss me right? :P I was busy the last few days so I will do my best and update today... The reason for this blog is a personal concern I am going through... I wish you will read it.

 

So I am suffering from a thing I can't control, I am tired of being attracted to girls, and tired of the way they are looking at me or hearing 'I wish you are a man' 'your body is masculine'or the way they get shy around me or tend to do skinship because I can give safety to the person next to me... I am tired of wanting to hug, kiss and date a girl... This is wrong... completely wrong. And I am tired of wanting it :( 

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Hanayul
#1
Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. Meaning, right now, this is how you feel, and it may have no broader meaning.
There's just too much about uality that we don't understand...there is growing evidence that uality is fluid, at least in some people, but who knows why the changes happen when they do, but they just do ( some men are attracted to blondes but then marry brunettes, go figure). So, maybe it just means, some people change, and this (attracted to women, in addition to men, or solely) is how you feel, in the here and now. So, stop beating yourself up about needing to fit under a certain category. Go forth and live.
I know you're not a lesbian :)
I mean, it's fine if you are, but it's pretty clear to me that you're not. You're just obsessing about it for some reason.(like me in the past i used to think that i'm lesbian, but now i'm pretty sure that it Just an illusion)
So, just try not to worry. It's okay if you're not attracted to guys, that doesn't make you a lesbian, it just means that you're not attracted to the guys around you. I mean, there are lots of boys I'm not attracted to, that doesn't mean I'm lesbian.
,وتذكري دائما ان الله عز و جل قد انعم علينا بنعمة العقل لكي نفرق بين الخطا و الصواب و نتبين الوهم و الكدب من الحقيقة و انت الان تملكين نصف الحل لانك تعلمين انه غلط لكن بقي النصف الاخر و الايام هي وحدها كفيلة باعطاءك الجواب لدا فقط واصلي البحث عن داتك .
"و كنصيحة اخيرة “إن الذين يضعون العقل في خدمة الروح يصلون إلى الإيمان.. والذين يضعون الروح في خدمة العقل.. يحتارون ويتعبون
fs1919
#2
idk you but i wanna help, as a muslim who is attracted to girls as well. don't listen to what others tell you about how homouality is right or wrong. why would allah make you this way of its wrong? i live by the thought that it doesnt matter what other ppl think, but as long as im a good muslim, pray five times a day, give to the poor, and try to be a good, nonjudgemental person, then why wpuld allah care about eho i love? besides i will be the person who has to answer to allah one day, no one else, and allah is just and fair. if youre a good muslim, will it matter to him if you're attracted to the ""wrong"" gender? i dont think so but i think you should look into what that answer is for you?
Twicemina_Girl
#3
Many comments said that your problem is not wrong.but I guess it is wrong bcause of our religion,Islam prohibit us from loving people same gender.btw,I am muslim too,hiba.
MelVermelho #4
I hope you feel better
Ps: This isn't wrong
ashroto
#5
.....why is it wrong though? Just because someone else says it is? The way you feel is never wrong. We can't help who we like....who we love.... Its not like we chose this. Pushing those thoughts down and getting together with a man because social norm dictates you to....now THAT is wrong. How old are you?
xxxyyyzzzaaabbb #6
U dont need to think about that, just do what makes u happy, it doesnt matter if its a girl or a guy. Love is love, dont do something that youll regret later.

Doing what u really want ("that is happiness" -chaeyoung)
xxyi_shanxx #7
be strong hiba, and trust me. you're not the only one that's suffering/have suffered through that situation. because not too long ago, i was in your shoe. i've been in three relationships (including my current one). and they were all with girls. but i'm very sure about the fact that, i'm bi. it's just that i haven't met "the right guy" yet. but that's okay.

and you know, gender don't matter when you're truly in love. because, my current girlfriend. supposedly "thought" that, she is straight. but it turns out that she's not. she accepted the fact that she fell in love with a girl. a handsome girl, she says XD so we've been through all our ups and downs. yet she still, she still thinks of marrying me.

you know hiba, being attracted with your own is nothing wrong, nothing should be changed. being bi/homo is not a sin. you should not, ever try to change who you are. because even if you do change yourself successfully. i'm telling you right now your "changed life" will not be any happier.

i know that, most of the problem occurs when you're trying to come out to your fam. but hey, i suffered through that too- half of my fam is japanese and half is taiwanese(conservative asf). that did not make things easier but worse. man, i went through living hell- : ) but while you meet the love of your life, eventually you'll think it's all worth it.

hwaiting hiba!! i command you to be yourself!!
noname19 #8
you can close your eyes on a thing you don't want to see. you can close your ear on a voice that you don't want to hear. but you can not close a heart on a feeling who does not want you feel...

"you rarely have time for everything we want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are."..

"we were born to be real not to be perfect..."

trust your heart, and just be yourself, even if it's hard to make your family take it, you can try slowly to make they believe, it's someday that your choice make you happy, and they feel happy too cause your happy..
-Krie-
#9
I think i should share my story hope your guys read it:
i was a girl, i am 17 years old. tbh i was a totally different person with on and off media.
i was so shy in real life. sometime i can't understand myself, i used to think that i'm attracted to girl but i'm not sure, or maybe because i don't have any experience with a relationship (lover) that why i'm still not sure about myself.
but all i could know is i always feel shy every time a girl doing skinship with me like hug or put their head on my shoulder. yes i used to adore some guys but i feel like it's different from the way i adore the girls. like...
EX: i was adoring a handsome guy, but some part of my feeling was always jealous with him or sometime i wish to be him.
can anyone want help me with this problem?

And... Fighting author nim just do what ever u want, just be what ever u are because there's no one who come and live in the same body with you! so just don't care about the other say and live your life! :)
TerraNova3600 #10
It is never wrong to be yourself and that is all that matters. It is of others standards that says it's wrong and I'm so glad that you told your readers this because it really spreads awareness and no matter who you are or who is reading this anyone and everyone should know it's OK.
wonderful_sone #11
do you have a girls that always with u ,
like maybe try to confess you felling to her
Minion13
#12
hey will you marry me? i give you momo as a gift heeheehee
ceejayfxsnsd0509
#13
It's hard to love a girl ( same ) but if you're willing to take the risk do it.
Don't be like me who can't tell the one I like/love her.
No author ssi
This is not wrong being gay ( if you're one )
Life is too short to think about what ifs
Live your life according to how you see yourself
Enjoy life take the risk if you can
Himnae
JuinMar
#14
What i can say is just do what u feel so right. Dont care about others opinion. Hey its ur life not theirs. Live ur life to fullest because i cant do that and i dont want people go through the same pain. Dont let other downgrade you okay? I hope you have a great day from now! Be strong and chin up.
YooJeongMo_19 #15
I feel ya Author-nim .-. The Skinships are killing me, It feels so bad yet so good so I'm stopping myself instead of making a 'mistake' (well that's how they describe it)