so recently my family has had a few changes going on and im still not used to the change, everything was just completely dumped onto me without any thought of how it would affect me, my biological mom and younger brother have moved in and since then ive been having to change just about EVERYTHING about how i act and how i talk. like no im sorry but this is how i am, i dont do these things intentionally that "hurt" you guys, you just take things WAY too close to heart. i forget things okay? I forget to reply to texts. say thank you or i forget to do a simple task just because they didnt get my attention before asking so they could make sure I ACTUALLY HEARD THEM and could comprehend just what the hell i was just asked to do. im sick  and tired of having to be the blame for everything that happens, others live here too, im ing human, i make mistakes, i forget simple things. i have a god damn brain = heart condition that affects my memory, yeah im on meds but that doesnt mean im going to do a complete 180 with my health. these things take time! Pills arent miracle workers. so im ing sorry if i forgot that i used something of my brothers ONE TIME and had him put it up. IT WAS HIS/ not mine. i used it for maybe five minute and then put it down. he was the one that hooked it up and let me see if it would work, and it didnt work.

but you know what? everything is my fault still, its my fault for forgetting, its my fault for existing and standing up for myself even if it means arguing with my mother?? i seriously cant wait till i get a job and get to get my tiny house put in the back yard. im so ing tired of always being the reason for fights happening.