hahahahahahahahaha the answer is no

lol

not on the inside

anyway

HI

i havent posted anything since like forever ago. y'all i didn't have a laptop for so goddamn long, posting from my phone is a pain in the , except blogs, blogs are doable but i havent even done that since halloween!

because nothing ever happens in my life orz

no wait thats actually a lie, a LOT has happened since i last posted.

so

heres the ella life update no one asked for but everyone will have to tolerate

(i feel like no one even reads my blogs anyway, this may as well be a diary, so w/e)

lets start with things that happened before my last blog update but that i never mentioned

- i have a job now. thats a thing. i hate it. thats also a thing

- at school i do this volunteer thing that is lovely its called foot patrol we legit just walk with people who are afraid to walk alone at night and we do patrols of the campus.

- i legit cant think of anything else, moving on

things that happened after my last blog update

- i have a work squad now! except most of them have quit

- one of the squad is a kpop fanboy!!!!!!! he's lowkey my friend-soulmate we legit talk about everything and hes so hot (we cant keep our lips off each other so its hard to keep my friends convinced that were just friends but like o vell.)

- another squad member and i had an on-again off-again relationship which right now is off but he cant stop being sad about how single he is in the work group chat im expecting a date asking soon. i'll let my mood that day decide if i accept or not.

- rebecca from my last blog works with me now! but she already handed in her 2-weeks so monday (as in tmrw) is her last day anyway so...

- i had a short fling with this guy from foot patrol but rn im avoiding him bc he kissed me on my birthday and it made me realize something about myself but im still trying to come to terms with it and understand it so i guess until then hes on standby. (watch me not open his messages till im like 80 so he doesnt get the read reciepts)

- i turned 19 btw which is the legal drinking age where i live so like turn up

- i am so busy these days and i hate it i ardly have time for myself, lately my idea of "me time" is time spent in the waiting room for my many doctors appointments

- brings me to the next point i got diagnosed with TMS!!!!! It's not fun!!!!!!!! I could have locked jaw forever and theres nothing to fix it!!!!!!

- I'm also on heavy drugs to make me want to kill myself less which is cool i guess

- I GOT A KITTEN but i dont get to live with her till like august ish

- im moving out in august ish (which is when my kitten and i start living together) with my bff rebecca and her bf dave weve ppaid the lease and everything. i'm finally getting out of this toxic household!!!

- yesterday i lost my debit and credit cards :))))))

- and this just happened today; my neighbours' house caught fire from something exploding in the garage so um.

wow a lot of these things are Not Fun™

but when has my life ever been fun

so actually all of this to say that now that i have a laptop, i will HOPEFULLY go back to regular updates. 

gosh adulting is hard.