- i hate people who gush about stories that aren't mine

- i hate people who gush about another author too

- i want my readers to worship me

- i tell my friends to write but i don't read their stories when they do + i get annoyed when they expect a comment from me although i expect a comment whenever they read mine. yes, i'm a hypocrite. i know.

- even if they comment, i won't be satisfied. their comment has to be long and compliment me a lot and i would keep in mind of comments i've seen them leave on other stories. i get jealous easily.

- the things my friends do for me, 95% of the time i would not do the same for them. even if they're saying something perfectly harmless and doesn't affect me in any way, i will still get pissed and i'd stop caring about them at the drop of a hat-

- but i don't treat all my friends equally. there's only 2 people who i'd actually care to reply to and tolerate a lot with. all the others, i ignore their messages and reply days later. but i'm a really possessive + manipulative person, i still want them to do almost anything for me. i'm truly a narcissist. also i tolerate with the people i really like and want attention from even if others have been friends longer with me and have done more things for me.

- like i said, i'm a manipulative person and i'm a compulsive liar too. i get people to worry and have sympathy for me through my lies and i try defend myself through them too.

i know i sound like a pretty horrible person (although it can be a lot worse). i'm just being honest on this account where none of my friends would see. i'm sharing this because guess what? even if i get annoyed, i don't say anything. even if they piss me off and i say i don't care about them, i will still talk to them and tell them genuinely nice things. i still read their stories, i still post a long comment even if they tell me i don't need to. if they don't comment on my story, even if i remember it, i don't guilt trip them for anything. i say i wouldn't do the same things for them but i would although i'd be complaining about it. ultimately, i like it when i can make them happy. so although my thoughts are really horrible, my actions speak otherwise and no, i'm not trying to defend myself. because i truly am still a hypocrite, narcissist, compulsive liar, manipulative and possessive person. rather than it being a trait, i do have a narcissistic personality disorder too tbh. i'm just writing this because i've told no one about it and I don't need a lecture either XD but feel free to say what you want if you read this. hope you have a good day~