I'm really anxious nowadays. I have a new job and currently writing my thesis. I feel like I'm such an idiot who couldn't do my own work properly. I feel like such a nuisance for people around me. I'm trying my best but my brain wouldn't go far. I want to update my fic but I'm stuck with such a routine. 

I need to speak Japanese daily but my skill is just downright horrible eventhough that's my own major and I choose it dutifully. I think I couldn't be a 'real adult'. 

I always feel horrible and anxious. I'm kinda fidgety and an introvert person but I work at front office. I need to greet people with a smiling face. I don't know if I can do this but I really need some money to pay the bills. I hope I could finish this thesis quickly and just be done with my current work. I don't know what I should do with my degree. I'm a big loser, and I can't even tell anyone in real life about this so I decided to put it here. I'm really sorry, maybe I don't really worth at all.

I wish I could hide from people, but my degree forced me to talk and meet new people. I'm such a scaredy cat, everyday I need to gather up my courage and face people when my mind's screaming and hyperventilating. 

I can't even post this on my own social media in case someone would judge me for being an attention . I'm just afraid and confused. I'm kinda afraid to meet and talk to people because I could blabber nonsense or so. I wish I have an accounting degree or maybe an art so I could do my own work in peace without having people around all the time.