Greetings,

It has been a long time since I posted my blog here. My life has finally gone for a 360 degree of rotation and I barely have time to write. And I kinda feel that I can actually bear this alone,until some awful situation happened,last night.

It has been a week since I've become a college student. The college provides such a cozy aparment to live in,and I couldnt be more thankful. There are 4 rooms in each aparment. 2 students for a room,so that makes 8 students in the house. My housemates are all good and nice people. We have our movie night on weekends and I find that we bond better because of that. Other than classes,we do almost everything together. Going to cafe,library and such. I start to feel comfortable to be around them. You know who hard it is for me to make friends and cope with new environment. So when things are going quite smoothly with making friends,all I can feel is a relief. Until last night. After we watched movies,I went to the toilet to brush my teeth and do some business. 4 of my hm(housemates) were discussing about a project,1 was in her room,with earphones attached and another 2 were getting ready for bed. By the time when I went out from the toilet,I found that everyone had gone. No discussions. There was a phone and earphones,left on a bed,the person who was using it was nowhere to be found. My hm and I,we usually just leave our room door open except for when we are sleeping at night. I was so confused. Where the heck is everybody??? Until I noticed that there was only a room with the door closed. 

Everyone was in there.

The door was closed.

I was in the toilet.

If they expect me to join,they would have left the door open.

And that was when I start to feel awful. 

Did I do something wrong? Were they talking about me or something?

When I asked my roomate what was happening in there,she just said,"oh we just talk about random stuffs."

The thing is,if you really talk about some random stuffs,why would you do it in the room,with the door closed? You can just gather in the living room as usual.

And I just have no idea what to do anymore.

I just cant stop to feel awful. To myself.