May 7th, 2017

On this late night of spring, I am sitting at my desk, pondering about my life decisions and how they have led me here.

As I am now knee deep (rather, neck deep) into adulthood, societal expectations mixed with mine have been putting a lot of pressure on my shoulders—the pressure to succeed, to accomplish something, or to leave a mark. Whenever I would be overwhelmed by the amount of responsibilities I have chosen to commit to (graduating university/getting into law school/practice international law) I would sit down, like I am doing right now, and go back to the beginning—to the reason why I started all of this. And if your why doesn't make you cry, then it isn't your why. I know that for a fact because I am not much of a crier. So, the doubts eventually would dissipate within a few hours.

This is why I write

I began about four or five years ago when I was a fresh out of high school kid. It was a whole new (and fascinating) world but I enjoyed the freedom, the let-me-pour-my-feelings-out-and-overdramatize-everything and the prose-the--out-this-story-no-matter-how-unrealistic-it-gets. Obviously after a while I learnt how to tune it down.

(2011) I first wanted to express myself, and get some attention (I won't lie). (2012) Writing became my escape. I was aimlessly wandering the halls of life without a plan, dream, or motivation. Plus, I had a lot going on behind the scene. (2013-2015) Later, my perfectionist side kicked it, so it became a serious hobby. A highly competitive one. (2016-now) For a while, writing wasn't enjoyable anymore. Just like at school, it became a matter of performance. I was never emotionally expressive, and honestly, will always side with the logical view of things, but for the sake of artistic expression, I had to learn how to balance the both.

Although I wouldn't call it an escape right now, it definitely remains a part of me. The worlds I create, I still hold dear. Only I get to explore the entirety of it, and that's enough for me to be satisfied. 

I write because...

• I want to teach my readers something. To show them how things are from the perspective of, sometimes, those we dislike.
• To break stereotypes. Research is very important to me.
• I love puzzles. Putting the pieces back together is why I read.
• I love studying the human psyche (lol)
• Art, especially writing, is the only way I can express myself emotionally. Movies can't make me cry, but books can.

All in all,

where you lay your roots matters. Never forget where you come from. 

So, why do you write?