Do you know the feeling when someone from your past is reaching out to you when you buried everything long ago? 

Well, here is my story. So I'm an average girl from a little city, I went to college to a bigger city in my county. It was great, I had a few friends, I got my degree, I moved on. Since it wasn't my dream, just a mere step in my life. 

Now, I go to a pretty good and famous uni in the capital of my country, first year in Korean course and I feel like everything is in place. I got a boyfriend a month ago who is supersweet and also likes KPOP (so he understands me), I got new, real friends, my family is okay - and in general: life is great. It's like I have my together, you know? 

And that's when you should be suspicious.

So, a college friend of mine (back from the old days) met two of my girl friends from college because they had to take an English language exam on an intermediate level to get their hands on their diploma not just some ing useless paper (I don't know if it's like that in other countries, but in Hungary you have to have a language certificate to get the result of your hard work, otherwise your degree is just like the ing sword from Goblin: you see it, you know it's there, but you can't grab it and nobody believes you see it.) I succeed the exam in English long time ago so I actually didn't meet any of my classmates from that school since two years. 

Anyway, back to story. My friend went back to take the exam again with two of my past classmates (who were also my friends at some point) and pretended like we don't really keep in touch like we do, to know how are they thinking about me. And I was speechless. 

They said I'm a since I moved to the capital, I am ridiculous, pathetic, ugly, can't do my right, ing rude and the list goes on. They even got to the point where they said that me and my boyfriend deserve each other since we are both . And I was like... what the hell? You don't even know me, we didn't utter a word to each other since graduation and you not only badmouth me, but my boyfriend as well who is actually better than any man I met before?! (Just for the record: he ALWAYS compliments me even though I look , kind and friendly and a ing gentleman who painted a rose blue and also glittered it up because I said I like the colour blue. And they said he is a person. Like me. Hold up, !) 

But what really got me that they insulted my works as well. I've been writing since a long ago as a stress-reliever and been insecure about it and that time they were the ones who encouraged me to upload it to platforms and read it, and gave their opinions about it... So it hurt when I heard that they think my fictions are pathetic just like me, why do I even post them, and so on... It really hurt me, and I know they're just envious bad es and I shouldn't waste my time on them, but I can't help but feeling . 

I wanted to update this weekend but my mood is so down that I couldn't write anything and even toyed with the idea to delete everything and just it all. 

Am I really this bad? That even after two ing years they hate me with this much passion? 

I'm just so sad. 

I'm sorry.