My Singing Plans Are Completely Done For

I have given up on music. Imma mark February 2nd 2012 as the day I gave up my dream of being a singer or actress.

Why?

1. My dream is not supported by my parents

2. My dream is not supported by my religion

3. My parents won't let me audition even if it's just a trial

4. If can't live my dream, there is no way I can do anything musical without having my passion yearn inside me.

 

So what did I do?

I threw away ALL musical things I have. Put them in the garbage. My IPod's, my magazines, my lyric binder, my posters, magnets and even a JongKey photo I had. And I'm planning to give away all my CD's so if your looking for an album... let me know.

What does this mean in general as a whole?

No more music AT ALL. I won't listen to the radio or go on YouTube or watch much TV. Maybe no TV? I swear, everytime I see anything related with being what it is I want to be which is acting or singing... I day dream. I can't forget about this without going anti-media. So, goodbye SHINee!! If I meet you Key it will be in Korea where I just happen to meet you...

No SM audition.

So no meeting Snuggie I guess :(

No keeping up with any KPop news or music or music at all.

I'll continue my stories but if something happens to the idols I'm writing about, I won't know. And I'd rather no one ask me if I heard 'this and that' or that 'who and who did this and this'. It'll just hurt me.

And for those who I said I would sing a song for, I'm sorry loves. I can't do it....

 

I've never been so idk... confused and torn apart. Okay... maybe when I had my first heartbreak but this is a different kind of devestation.

I'll upload a picture of my stuff in the trash to show how dead serious I am.

 

And as I type this, SHINee is my computer backrground... I'm going to miss them. I hope all my favorite KPop groups do well. I'll probably forget all about them but... I guess it's what I got to do.

 

And oh so just read somewhere that Key's least favorite food is carrots and favorite being Italian food. Exactly like me...

And the dream to be a singer has always been in him. As well, he wants to be an artist/painter, anything related to the arts. While me, I have a second passion for photography. So, hopefully I meet this man in my own ways...

Made this blog into my babe's fav color... hopefully maybe it makes this announcement less depressing.

 

Love you guys...

 

 

Proof:

 

 

And my JongKey photo in the trash....

 

^ Idk if you can see my IPod and headphones...

 

Yeah there was a lot of basic teen stuff that I used to be into (A long time ago). There's a Selena Gomez poster there (Not a fan) and then the Jonas Brothers/Camp Rock stuff (Camp Rock actually inspired me a lot for some odd reason. After I watched it, I started writing songs. I wrote a song everyday for about 2 months or more. I think more... They were all but it just made me happy to write), threw away Justin Bieber posters and all those magazines I bought. And my lyric binder is there, too.

And I don't think I will be taking up dancing. If I end up putting my mind to it then it will become another dream and I will go through all this again.

Don't want to seem like a cry baby but I just really need to write my thoughts down <3

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JongKeylove7714 #1
Awwe thank you.
I never actually THREW my stuff away, it's just in my garbage bin...
blackcher #2
I understand that you feel sad and stuff, but you do really think music is really avoidable? :\ You actually seem so passionate about it, it's bound to come back to you. And your parents are probably just saying that for your own good? Being a singer/actress is hard, and hard to get as well. But come on,throwing away your iPod? Don't do that! Haha! you'll miss it/regret it so much! Or maybe instead of throwing everything out, you can just store it in a box? And take it out when you're ready for it again. I know that feeling of not living out your dreams. I want to go into fashion, but it just seems pretty impossible. I have to either be really risky and give up everything to achieve it, or give up nothing and live an unrisky life. but all in all,i hope you'll find your way soon, your achievement might inspire a lot of people ^^ I'm here to support you! don't feel so sad anymore! :( <3
JongKeylove7714 #3
@worldofmyown: I know. But I guess I'll just have to stay away from it as much as I can. If I go into a store with music. I'll wear earplugs. If someone is whistling, I'll ask them to stop... everyone does that. But I'll try and withstand it as long as I can.
I also want to be an author, or a photographer. I have 2 novel ideas but I never wrote them. I wrote fanfics instead. Yesterday, instead of searching up Key videos I searched up photgraphy schools. It felt like I had out all music in my past. It felt almost, refreshing?
I may regret it in a week but I guess I'll just have to wait till then.
I really wanted to try this out now. I don't want to wait till I turn 18 to be able to kinda make my own choices. I wanted their approval on this really bad. Or badly...? I don't know which word is correct.

Thanks for supporting me. But I don't think I can step into music again.
JongKeylove7714 #4
@Snuggie: You may make me feel better but I will probably feel depresed anyways. You know this whole audition thing ment more than just an audition. It was the closest I would ever get to my dream and if I ended up going then I would have to face my social anxiety. Also, if my parents let me go I would actually feel like they supported me in this. That's all I really ever wanted...
I think my mom came into my room and saw my trash can and didn't say anything... T.T
And now she's actually trying to learn Jonghyun's name so she keeps asking me 'Is it Jongling? Jongheen?' and I'm like greeaat....

@TiaraL: I know it seems drastic but I honestly don't think theres any other way to get over my dream. I honestly CAN'T ever be a singer or an actress. I just can't because of religious beliefs and I can't give up on that but the SM audition ment a lot for me and not being able to go just broke me down. Every time I listen to music, I day dream. I can't do that to myself.
I'm not sure if my parents would let me sell my IPod...



Oh, and I'm not even sure if I can write stories anymore. I looked at it yesterday and it felt like my heart was getting pulled apart. They are all about idols.
And same thing for reading them. I'll try and read stories made from friends... hopefully I can. If not, I'm sorry. I'll tell you if I can't. But hwaiting to all of you.
worldofmyown #5
Wow, that really got to me. Music is the world's tongue, something everyone understands. You'll hear it everywhere, whether that be someone whistling or a background tune in the store. Don't you think throwing away everything you love is a little too drastic too soon? It could happen, you can make it! Anything can happen, especially when you set your mind to it.
I want to be an author one day. Reading book after book I have this feeling in my gut I'll never be good enough to get big in the business, my parents tell me I'll never make enough money to support myself. I feel like no-one would pick up a manuscript of mine and think "I want to publish this". But no matter how remote my dream seems... I still read and write.
I agree with TiaraL, you might regret trashing everything in a week. Please re-think... and carry on with your talent, for me? <3
I mean it... Don't do this to yourself... you'll get further depressed! And I don't want you depressed, missy, you're too nice for that punishment :( I know it must be tough now but when you're old enough to do things without your parent's okay first, you can chase your dreams all you want. For now living amongst it is the nicest thing I can think of.
We support you at least!! <333
SnugglePuppyHug #6
i feel like no matter what you do. whether you get rid of them or not... you're gonna have a depressed feeling.

would you really be happier without them?

i mean i know you don't wanna have that awful depressed feeling.
but, in a situation like this - which i know well - whether you cut yourself off from them or not.
it'll still be there.

i want you to be happy missy.
JongKeylove7714 #7
I know but I just can't see myself doing anything musical. Not that I hate music now it's just I can't be around it and purposely put myself in front of it.

And I know, Wooyoung is one of my inspirations for that reason. Trust me, through all this I actually thought of him but I think my situation is a little more severe per say.

You think I wanna give up SHINee or any other thing related with music?
But if I listen to SHINee imma think 'oh one day, maybe I'll meet Jjong or Key.' And bam... depression again.

But thanks for the encouraging words. Ment a lot <33
SnugglePuppyHug #8
ahhhg... this is not good at all....
although, i don't think you should toss away all things related to music.
because this world... is basically dominated by music.
it is the universal language.
and whether you throw away all things media related... you'll still see other things that will make you day dream (like myself) and it will be just another stab to the heart. (trust me)
it will come in a wave of hurt, BUT, i think that as a musical artist, their job is to make connections with their fans and through the music help them in times of when they aren't feeling so well. and i think SHINee wouldn't want you to give up on all things musical and dreams.
they would tell you probably the exact opposite.
and even though you have no support from people. there were plenty of others who had no support either.
it's like WooYoung from 2pm. yet he did it. and things turned out fine for him.
now even if in the end you don't make it... it'll be okay, cuz the days WILL continue on, and at least you could look back and say in some sort of way SHINee (and or other musical artists you liked) were there for you. even though it wasn't physically.
they were.
so trust me.
how you're feeling now.
i was feeling almost half a year ago.
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