REVIEW

❝ Moksha Studios ❞

Name of the Story:

LENS, LOVE, LIFE

Author of the Story:

JAEGASMK

Pairing/Characters:

[] DBSK - YUNHO & JAEJOONG AND THE REST OF THE MEMBERS

Warning/s:

NONE

Status of the Story:

ONGOING

Description:

Jaejoong have never tasted life; the exhilarating kind of life. As a teenager he would always lay back and never wonder about his future, just absentmindedly cruising through the present. One fateful day, Yoochun lend his DSLR camera to him for one day and ever since then, Jaejoong's life changed. His entire life revolved around photography, the only thing that brought him to life. He decided to enroll in Seoul Institute of the Arts together with Yoochun. There, he will find more meaning to life beyond his lens.

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TITLE

The chosen title is quite appealing. It is fitting for the story and very unique.

 

 

DESCRIPTION/FOREWORD

Your description of the story was well done. Too much information about the storyline was not given away which increases the reader’s interest in the story.

 

 

CHARACERIZATION

The way your main character, Jaejoong, was great. I really like the way you did not make him into the typical “rich, good at everything” kind of person. The third chapter really shows that, like everyone, he can fail too, but his failure is only a small obstacle in his way to achieving his dream. Yunho’s character is quite admirable. His kind and selfless personality helps him to put others before himself, which will probably play a significant role in his and Jaejoong’s relationship.

 

 

PLOT

I have never read any stories with a similar storyline, so I can say that this was a very unique story for me. The flow of the plot was smooth. I feel like the first chapter moved a little too fast. Maybe you could give a bit more insight into his personal life (his relationship with his family and friends) before writing about how he fell in love with photography. That aside, the story did not jump from one place to another and the events that took place were logical.

 

 

WRITING

I noticed that you had some grammatical and punctuation errors, but I was still able to understand the general purpose of the sentence/paragraph. You utilized a great range of vocabulary and made sure to include a sufficient amount of description along with dialogue. I often don’t read stories written in first person, but I found your writing to be quite appealing which allowed me to read it with little to no problem.

 

 

OVERALL

- a bit too fast - a few grammatical and punctuation errors Other than the point(s) mentioned above, you did really well! I enjoyed your story! I hope this review was helpful. Please make sure to credit the shop in your description or foreword.