Title [4/5] : The title is unique as it has a coulour of its own. The word "game" has been used often in aff but you fave it a new spin. I gave it a 4 out of 5 because I felt like the power(?) of the title is being dragged down by the word "just". It made it sound like the 'game' doesn't have much significance and it drags the whole title down. But, it did catch my attention because I wondered about how cruel the 'game' is and the storyline in general (cause the tags for the story included romcom; I thought the combination was quite peculiar)

Appearance [4/5] : The poster is absolutely stunning! Kudos to the graphic designer! The background colors are also very vibrant, but it gave a different vibe from the poster don't you think? I think it's because they have two different shades, so I think it's better to find a middle ground for the color combination. The layout for the description and foreword are fine; it's simple and straightforward. The chapters, I hoped there would be more solid paragraph. I thought there were too many short paragraphs. You don't have to put really really long ones but it's nice to have varieties in lenght so that it can show the pace of the chapter. Get it?

Description/Foreword [19/20] : I'm okay with the overall look of it, I like that you put lines to divide the content. The description doesn't give out much about the story, it's short but I think it said everything that is needed. You also put a little excerpt which is nice, I rarely see people do that in aff. There is a few things I want to point out in the excerpt, but I'll put that aside for now. I think it'll make the reader curious, so you did a great job. I do think you can make it a little more interesting with a little more background information about the story. Like how did she get into her current situation or a little description about the secret of the bottle, etc. It's great the way it is, I just thought there is more room for improvements.

Characterization [16/20] : To be honest I was irked by Minah's attitude because the way she called Jungkook 'handsome boy' on their FIRST meeting and the way she acted towards him; I thought she was drunk or something. And how could she be so calm after falling down a great height (I concluded this from the description you gave) and finding herself in a giant bottle! CAUSE GIRL I WOULD HAVE FREAKED OUT! It's not like everyday you fall into a giant bottle and meet a handsome dude. Just her whole action in the first chapter did not seem 'normal'. But then as the story go on, I did get a more 'lovable' side of her. Like she's cheeky, optimistic, and full of sarcasm, I really like her love for her family best. 

For Jungkook, his entrance was not very grand. So his first impression was kind of weak, like he did not really catch my attention. It was only until later chapters where his personality became more interesting. Gotta say though they're both hot-headed and that is quite a combination. 

The little girl in chapter 3 and 4, even though she's a minor character, she didn't feel like a real person. How old is she? Why didn't she ever question the two following her and spilling drink all over her? Her character is too one dimensional there's no depth and her character lacked character! I hope you'll also tend the minor character because they also drive the story along.

Plot [24/25] : The plot is uncommon, which stood out to me the most. I really like the idea especially the 'genie in the bottle' theme. There are some clichés in the story like where Minah called Jungkook a jerk or a ert, or the fact that both of them were not on good terms at first but then get closer as time passes. The later one especially, was done a lot of times. It's like all stories start off like that. But you did put in a different spin of that trope in this story so it sounded less cliché. I applaud you for that.

Flow & Pace [6/15] :I had a hard time understanding some scenes, I had to read it more than once to understand what was happening. Firstly, I think it was how the chapters was structured. The short paragraphs made me dizzy and confused, I couldn't focus on what was going on. For example this opening scene:

A young woman is standing by the bridge, leaning on the balustrade with her elbow on top. Her hand is supporting her chin as she stares into the night view.

Still some traffic at this hour. But there are hardly any people walking around.

She doesn't look sleepy. It seems that she is there to enjoy the fresh air.

But she looks bored.

She scans around to make sure nobody is watching her. Looking rest assured, she bends her head down at the railing and lets out several weird groans and growls to the soundless river under her.

She feels a sick churn in the stomach when she acknowledges the height from the Han river tells her to stop looking, so she adverts her gaze and focuses on the railings instead.

This can be written as:

A young woman was standing by the bridge, leaning on the balustrade with her elbows on top, her head supported by her hands. She indulged herself in the night view. Buildings were lit up with various colored lights, flickering in festivity, meanwhile the river reflected the dark, overcast sky. Cars zoomed by her and the pedestrian was empty; her surroundings was peaceful. Her eyes became heavy from the stillness in the atmosphere, she took a deep breath of fresh air and huffed in frustration. She was bored out by the scenery. She looked around to make sure no one was around before making alien noises at the silent river. She stopped after she noticed the great height of the bridge. Her stomach churned so she leaned back and adverted her gaze at the railings. 

This is not the best example but you can see that those short paragraph can be united under one theme. I'm not saying you should do this to all your paragraph but if you spot some where they talk about the same topic then do it. That's the purpose of the paragraph anyway. 

Then, the descriptions are hard to understand. Maybe because the words were arranged in a strange way, e.g. :

Your mission is to grand 3 people with 24 wishes (exactly 8 wishes for each).

The alternative:

Your mission is to grant 8 wishes to 3 people.

It's shorter but means the same thing. Since you already mention that she had to grant 24 wishes in the foreword, there's no need to mention that again. Because repetition can be boring and I'm sure readers can at least do simple math. Also, the correct verb is 'grant' which means to agree to give or allow. Another case, in chapter 1 you wrote:

[...] like one of those round and short alcohol bottles on real life.

It should've been:

[...] like one of those short, round alcohol bottles.

I  reversed the order of the words because there is this 'rule' in the English language where adjectives must be written in this particular order: Quantity or number, Quality or opinion, Size, Age, Shape, Color, Proper adjective (often nationality, other place of origin, or material), Purpose or qualifier. So you can say "The great gigantic green dragon" but not "The green great gigantic dragon." It just doesn't seem right. And I took out 'in real life' because the sentence can do just fine without it. There's one more problen where you wrote:

Thankfully, she is wearing a duffel, so it is not that painful.

When I saw the word 'duffel' I was confused because I immediately thought of those duffel bag, but it felt weird when I tried to imagine it. Then I found duffle coat so I continued on with that image in my mind. I think it'll be better if you had specified what she was wearing because 'duffel' is merely a coarse woolen cloth with a thick nap (according to dictionary). 

The second thing that kind or irritated me was how the dialogs are not natural. It sounded a bit robotic, like this one:

"This dream is getting weird, isn't it? You heard all of my distress, and I was satisfied  But you are still here. It's getting longer than expected." Minah says, huffing to herself. She shakes her head violently and hits her head with weak punches.

"[...] You heard all of my distress, and I was satisfied [...]" this particular line stood out because I personally don't think people speak like this, even smarter ones. People have accents, use slangs, abbreviations, and simple words in general. Also the sentence itself sounds weird.

And, "[...] longer than expected." Minah says, [...] ,the punctuation is wrong; it should've been "[...] longer than expected," Minah says,[...] .

Lastly, the story is in present tense which was weird but definitely not wrong. The tense doesn't define the story however, present tense is harder to manipulate than past tense. In past tense you can skip times and go back or go forward in time, because everything has been done already; with present tense you need to constantly tell what is happening one after another. I'm not an expert in this so I couldn't really tell.

Your writing skills is okay for a non-native English speaker, I just really like going into the details.

As for the pace of the story, it's not rushed. But after the 'little girl' incident it seems like they've been slacking off a bit too much, that's just my opinion.

Enjoyment [5/10] : I really like the theme of the story but the storyline is a bit too cheesy for me. I cringe from time to time while reading it, so would I read it? No thank you. Personally, from the time she called him 'handsome boy' I was unamused. But that's just my opinion.

[Note: I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. And for being a grammar nazi. I can't help it, being a perfectionist and all. Thank you for your request!]