Don't read this.

Ever felt so tired of helping? Ever felt so tired of doing good things not because it doesn't benefit you, but it benefits others for their own good, and it was them taking all the credit, as if they really own it, as if they worked hard for it.

Ever felt like you are so alone in this world, you no longer know who to trust, even yourself?

I feel so used, but I do it anyway, since they're my friends, and if I don't do it now, no one will, and I won't graduate, and it's going to be a shame. Am I wrong to blame their boyfriends for this? Am I wrong to blame love for this? Am I wrong to hate love all in all for this?

My friends, which has only been two, now had their own love lives, and I am now left alone. When we get to meet each other, one always had her boyfriend following us, and the other with her never-ending tales of her boyfriend. What am I left with? Nothing. I am left with nothing but thoughts to myself. And now, group requirements has turned to become an individual work. Who else would do it? The girl who had no love life at all. Me. What are friends for? I'll do it, I'm not busy anyway.

Oh, you're sorry? That's okay. Saw you going places today, must be out somewhere, and you must be busy chatting your boyfriend away. Or maybe you're busy looking pretty. That's okay, I don't mind. You are both my friends. Without the both of you, I'm alone, and that'd make people think I'm like that girl from class who was also left alone.

Am I really your friend? Or am I your friend when you need someone to have your works proofread from grammatical errors? Or for me to translate? Or when we need to do paperworks? Am I your friend?

So, what happens after graduation? Ah, so you're done with me? Great. I guess my job is done. I was nothing but a social worker to the both of you. I am done.

Is it wrong for me to become like this? Or was it because I never experienced falling in love the way they do right now? Do friends really leave their friends for their man? Or am I just being too dramatic?

This world is getting too toxic for me to live in.

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Fluffoutprincess #1
so I just followed the advice of title and didn't read... hahaha :-)
yongharu21 #2
oh Irish, i'm really annoyed at your "friends"
first of all it's not okay for them to take advantage of your good nature just so they can hang out with their boyfriends. it seems like you're going to have to do the work because you don't want to fail, but your friends need to get their together. if they're not participating in group work, talk to a teacher. even if you care about them, they don't seem to care the same way otherwise you wouldn't be in this predicament, you wouldn't be feeling alone, lonely, depressed, whatever it is you might be feeling. outing your friends might not end well, but you can't do all their work for them and them also getting the creds they need to graduate.

so you're not in the wrong, and friends who ignore their friends for lovers are impossible and need to get it together (and i'm saying this because i have been a friend ignoring others for a lover and it was a hurtful experience i learned from), and you're not dramatic either. you've voiced out a reasonable and valid complaint and i think it's so unfortunate that your friends are making you so unhappy like this. you deserve much better <3 if it might help to try and talk to them, then please do, because no one should suffer in silence is what i believe.

I hope things get better for you soon! also, if you've still got kakao, feel free to text <3
SPiRALS-and-TWiSTS #3
This is creepy. I thought my other self wrote this. Everything, everything in this blog post is very me. I can't give you any advice coz I, myself, don't know how to react given our situation. All I can tell you is, stay strong. I did it for myself. And that's how I entered social media. I created everything! And started talking to people. Online. Coz til now, I can't talk to people around me. I hope you're doing better than me. If not, I hope you can be strong, too. Fighting!
SugarFreeSuga #4
When your title says don't read this but it only urges u more to lmao.
But alright- first, I'm rlly sorry for what you've went through. Sometimes friends can make us feel so depressed and angry and you somehow question yourself- "are they really my true friends?" This has happened to me so many times, and even now, sometimes this question is like a necessity.
What have they done for you? Have they really helped you out in times of need? Have they comforted your glum days before? Do they know you enough that they can state your habits/likes and dislikes/family/personal stuffs/feelings on the back of their hand? If no, there are tons other people out in this world who are willing to be your friends if u seek out. Trust me, sometimes sticking to just your basic two may put you in shoes u do not want to be in.
About your friend' current relationship- yes, being in love may be an utter joy and make you want to abandon things. It makes your life revolve just around the person u love, and more often they abandon their everyday lives and even friends. But I would say, a good friend is someone who has your back no matter what circumstance, boyfriend or not.
I hope you are able to figure things out there ^^ sorry for the sorta-long comment and I don't even know if u want people reading this blogpost lol. Sorry if that's the case xD
Laymontae #5
hi theree~~ random aff user popping up~

first of all, i am so sorry to hear this. it really saddens me when i hear things about this. i experienced the same thing as you aka friends leaving me for their boyfriends. heck, it happened more than a lot for me. my sisters even left me for their boyfriends and it hurt a lot. my best friend sorta left me for her boyfriend.
but by the end of the day, its inevitable. yes, you have to deal by being lonely and yes, it hurts and it . yes, its tiring to do projects by yourself when its supposed to be a group project but hey, it's life. you know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
i know it hurts to be left behind and i know its realllyyyyyyyy annoying to hear your friend talk about their boyfriend all the time but then again, you're her friend anyways and friends are usually there to listen. if you really have a problem about them with their boyfriend: just let it all out of them. theyre youre friends anyways and they should understand your pain. you shouldnt be hurt alone, your friends should (at least) feel what youre feeling.

i hope you'll resolve this problem between your friends<33
aazangel #6
aw, sometimes life get a little bit unfair, l think you still didn't have love life before, and for me its ok though, l know that sometimes being alone makes youfeel lonely, but its ok, life is like that, you doing things for your friend is really nice, thought for me you should tell them how you feel about this matter, that u are tired of doing the others job,
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