For the past year I have created a number of covers for my books. All have their short forewords, some are posted and complete (and on going), some had a few chapters with them, and some were just meant to remind me that I had this plot in my head. And I am glad to give you a brief description of them, in my own explanation, facts and what-nots, without all the glitz, glamour, and aesthetic-ness to make it catchy (btw, I always fail with describing them with class, lol).

 This story was my first attempt to write a BTS-centric (more like Jungkook-centric) fan fiction after realizing that I am really an ARMY back in 2014. Originally, this was supposed to be entitled... I forgot the title, but the plot was originally from Danger, where the girl gets into a new school, meets badass Jungkook, who: in my first draft, Jungkook was still the suicidal boy who has no reason to live, because of his girlfriend who left him, and has turned his attention to newbie Hyesoo, who will be forced to become his girlfriend. Danger era was angsty af, so I was supposed to do it angsty. I don't know if you guys saw this post I had before, but i posted the foreword of this, where Jungkook (actually, it was unknown to me who will be the male lead) pins Hyesoo on the wall after chasing her, because she escaped from him and all, and he was like, "Are you playing games with me?" Lol, it was too much Jungkook with the black eye-liner vibe. Lol, who remembers HMT Corner?

 This is where Hyesoo and Jungkook are finally dating and I must admit how this was forwarded too much BECAUSE THEY BROKE UP HERE. Oh my goodness, I was such a bad author in this book. Too much tears, blood, and sweat (whut). Anyways, Philophobia was supposed to be a cliche story of a girl who is afraid to fall in love due to some issues in relationships, and she is neighbors with Jungkook! The setting in Butterfly where Jimin and Jaemi's windows are parallel of each other? That was supposed to be in Philophobia. However, I got a severe mental breakdown from the plot and took it for granted. Not wanting to waste the cover I requested before, I decided to make it a sequel of HMT.

    The title was another term for Epilogue, and this was the ending of the whole HYYH Trilogy. This, like Philophobia, was ended too fast because I wanted to finish this before I become too busy with school as a senior college student. I loved the ending so much, honestly. This was also in the middle of my fan-girling over Seo Kang Jun that he was a part of this. Haha. I think that the most valuable lesson of the story is that, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. The heart knows what it wants and that if you love someone, no matter how much mistakes they've done in the past, you will always end up into each other's arms. Because that is love, accepting them for who they are not just because you cherish them, but because you have faith in them.

 This story is was a story with many, versions: (1) A story where Jungkook is being chased by a girl who is head over heels for him, and in the end, he falls in love [this is like Playful Kiss kind]; (2) Idol Jungkook falls for OC, who he knew years back because she sends him letters, and he reads them all, that is why he fell for her; (3) Just like 1, OC is head over heels for idol Jimin, she's like the Jimin fangirl of Yoongi's fan who is going to sue her, but then they suddenly become classmates in the univeristy,and OC no longer likes Jimin, but what about Jimin?

The second version, was the approved and posted version, though discontinued. Because it was near to my epic love affair with my crush, just, unlike Jungkook, he did not fall for me despite the letter I give him. Hehe.
 

This is a spin-off in the HYYH Trilogy, where Jimin finally sets his destiny to Busan and find what he wants, theen he meets Jaemi, a girl who is free-spirited and laid-back, who is trapped in her past. Just like Jimin, she was lost, and they will find what they were looking for in each other, just not in the easiest way possible.

This is like the Danger era Jungkook, where Jungkook is a mysterious student, classmate of OC, who is curious to everything, even Jungkook. She will get to know his secret, which is very bad, by the way, and he will keep her beside him to make her silent. However, badboy x OC will never be complete without romance, so...

​​​​A fluffy one-shot I posted! This one is inspired by a story I read on Tumblr, and it was so cute I had to make my own version.

Based from Taeyeon's single, the OC is on her three-month moving on set up, where her friends set her up on date with Taehyung, but instead of them really dating, he let her tell him everything about her ex-boyfriend, and has helped her forget about the pain. The question is, will Taehyung and OC click, or will OC go back to her boyfriend?

A fluff about OC and Jungkook trying on a 30-day couple app because of an agreement they signed online. LOL, This is so cute to make, because in this story, OC has a huge crush on Jungkook, and he knew about it because of the app, and he pushed her to try dating him, because she said "There should be a 30-day trial to date your crush so you know how it turns out."

THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT TO . But is still on the works, and it was not turning out to be good. I shall stick to fluff.

 Lost is a rendition of Blood, Sweat and Tears. Where the boys and OC are reincarnated, and they keep on getting dreams about their past. History repeats itself. I wrote this before the Legend of the Blue Sea, and this was so so alike with its plot, except mermaids and all, so I decided to watch and finish it first to get references with reincarnations.

This is my latest plot, where OC meets idol Jungkook in her darkest times, and he will help her cope up. This is a fluffy story about friendship and hope. Somewhat related to Spring Day, and You Never Walk Alone. 

I have two more stories without a cover, because they were hand written on a notebook, and still have yet to type them out when I have the chance.

Now here comes the dramatic part I wrote first before the written above because today was really a frustrating day. However, the decision written on the last parts are final.

I don't know if I have told this to anyone in any of my posts using this account, but I must admit, I have been in this site since i was 12. Looking back, Asianfanfics was a site that holds little amount of stories and community, who visioned to share their creativity through writing, with idols as their lead and many other scenarios that I must admit I got hooked. When I started, I was a KissMe, Angel, and an Inspirit, and has written three to four books, This Love Show being the first ever completed book that I have. When I was younger, I loved that there was AFF, as an avenue to help me express my hobby. I write almost everyday, and I don't care if someone reads them. I just write, and write, and write until my hands go numb. There was no definite reason to why I created a new account, pinkruffles, and started anew in 2014. Still, with my goal to just write, I continued doing it. I write and write without caring much about the views, or maybe I do mention it on my posts, but I never try and pressure myself with the views, all I care about is creating a well-written book that talks about what I feel and would like to express.

But as time passed by, I realized that change is really the only constant thing in the world. No, it didn't change my goal to just write, but what changed is my confidence with this goal. While being an author has been my alter ego, my escape from the real world, it seems like what I have been escaping from has entered my comfort zone, and it was the most somber moment in my life. Pressure, expectations, comparisons, dejection. I have been very anxious of what people might think of me when they know that I write. Once, I tried to show a close friend of mine my works, I told her that if she had the time, she might want to read mine because I was happy to know that she writes, too. But I guess she was not a real friend at all. All she cared about was her work, and her work alone to be noticed. Not that I am talking behind her back, but it was the truth. I felt sad with how she rejected my offer. It pained me that when I showed her the most precious thing of mine, she neglected it and ignored it like a piece of trash. That was when I had in mind that I will never, ever show anyone who knows me my writings. Not even my parents, not even my friends. Because I did it once, and they did not appreciate my effort of showing my wings, my life, my soul.

Now, in my coming of age, 20, in a few months, there are a lot of things in my head. And these things weren;t as good as they were supposed to be. As a graduating student, I am starting to have an identity crisis. What should I do with my life? What comes next after graduation? Where will I be working? Can I still do the things that I do? Why is time flying by so fast? I needed someone who would help me decided with everything. But instead of having a helping hand, all I am receiving right now was pressure. My parents has been pressuring me to work in the company that my father has oncce worked in. I know it would do me good, and I was open to the idea of working there. But why do I feel like they never let me do the things my way? Why do they always decide for my sake? Why do they always do the things for me when I know I can do it? Can't they trust me the way the other parents trust their child? I hate it, I hate it so much that my family, who was supposed to be my support system, my strength and my happiness has turned out to be the people who are pressuring me to become someone I am not. Since I was younger, I was being compared to other kids my age. "Why is she better than you in this?" "She can commute on her own, can't you?" "She provides for herself." "She no longer asks for money." "She can stand on her own. Can you?" I turned to be that woman who was scared of doing things her way, and has always ended up following the footsteps of others. I grew up to be sheltered, and afraid of going beyond my limits. Now, when I feel like I can, they always stop me, and take me to the easier route. Who doesn't want easy? However, taking the easier route and being guided always will mkae you weak, and dependent when you grow older. I was never original. I will always be the carbon copy. I'm nothing but a copy who can be erased in this world, unrecognized. It has affected me in many ways, the feeling of being alone was once a happy lane for me, but now has become a nightmare. Whenever I write, I make it sure that I am alone, and I am free. But now? Being alone makes me feel like no one is there for me, and they are all talking behind my back, saying all the bad things about me. That's not how you do it, people. When someone is alone, you do not talk behind their back and say hurtful things about them. You leave them alone, and hope for that they are okay. Because you never know what they are facing, you never know their problems.

Ever since I started my internship, honestly, it has been a pressure for me to write just anything. Right at the moment I am writing this, I was trying my hardest to be calm and collected. I want to convey a message, and I even if no one would read this, I would like to let this out in my chest.

Wow, this post has turned to be so dramatic and did not turn into something that I expected. However, my announcement was not my frustrations and distress over the toxic environment I am currently in, but a sad announcement for me. Though, the former paragraphs are basically the reason for this big decision.

Butterfly, my Jimin x OC story, will officially be discontinued, and so as my career as an author here in Asianfanfics. I am now sayiing goodbye to writing here, maybe temporarily, maybe permanently. The reason was that I have lots of things in my mind, and writing, though being my most favorite hobby, has become hard for me to do. Whenever I try to write, I feel a heavy pain in my chest. We have this weekly essay to turn in for Internship, and it was some kind of reflection, what I feel, and my thought, I was always having the hardest time to write, and it hurts me that I can no longer do the things that I love, just because it reminds me of things that makes me feel weak.

I hope that one day, I would be able to write the stories that I have not gotten the chance to write. I hope that one day, I will be brave enough to stand for myself and do the things my way. Because this is my life, and I own it. No one owns me, but me. I hope that in my whole span of writing, I have inspired you to become someone, even if I was one hell ball of negativity. I hope that one day, all my anxieties will be gone and I will be able to get away from all my insecurities. I hope that love will spread all over and hatred will be gone, soon.

To everyone who has been a part of my life here in Asianfanfics, thank you for inspiring me. You are all the most beautiful moment of my life.