Cheating: need your advice my aff friends please

 

Hi guys sorry I havent update all my on going ff. Im so stressed this past few weeks. I caught my guy cheating. They keep sending dirty messages, sweet talks to each other behind my back. Ive got access to his phone he doesnt know it. So while he's sleeping I check his messages and viola the girl not only send lots of I love you but also sending photos of her almost , she's just wearing her bra and undies. Sending photos of her . Im so disgusted with what Ive seen. So i took a screenshot of there bull messages and save it somewhere. I tried to make him confess but he keeps denying it. So I sent 1 screenshot and he was totally speechless . He keeps saying sorry to me  I havent forgiven him yet. If I did the same thing to him will that make me an awful person? im so hurt. I told him to block the girl in his fb but who knows he might unblock her again go on with his cheating spree. When I caught him he asked the girl to make a viber acct so thats where they will communicate. He gave him his number the girl did the same but I change the number so He'll be contacting the wrong person or the number doesnt exist at all. 

 

Im trying to bring back the best of me being so sweet to him. We're living together if you wanna know. Every relationships has its ups and downs. For 13 years There are times I felt unappreciated for the things I did to him. Im trying to give him my best but still look what he did. He cant even hold my hands while were walking he told me he's not used it. But we're holding hands when we're still dating but now, not anymore

 

Please tell me....If I cheat on him like what he did to me will that make me a horrible person? I badly what him to taste a dozed of his own medicine. I dont know what to do anymore. Before Im not that possesive of him because I trust him but now I wanted to tie him up around me. Because I love him too much and it hurts to know he's cheating on me. 

the girl is from another country I wont say which country but she's Asian as well. They used to work together. The girl really did look for him in facebook just to flirt and tri to steal him from me. He has a crush on her before

what do i do?????

thanks guys

 

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rogan016 #1
You have to let go girl! Don't put yourself in their shoes and regret it one day! Doing what he did is like degrading yourself because your acting things that the logical you would never do! Cheater like him don't deserve a loyal like you! I've experience that to my man twice and he lied to me twice! I got depressed thought of so many bad things then one day I got fed up and thought to myself that this isn't me anymore so I break it off. Well karma is a because look at them now the girl cheated on him too and got knocked up!! But still it's up to you we could give you advices but the decisions is on you. You should have a talk to yourself and ask if you can live your life without him and if he's worth it??
gd_ume #2
First thing, please don't do what he did just to give him a dose of his own medicine because you will just be hurting urself in the end. Take note he is responsible for what he did even if his reasons are so damn good u'll think that he's a saint. But with whatever u do, u'll gonna carry that within urself all ur life, and since that is not who u are, then ur just hurting urself. Second: You losing trust is a big issue. This lose of trust is already making u someone u don't know. Stalking his phone and fb account shows a big loss of trust and if this makes u crazy, makes u lose sleep, and overall makes u do stupid things, then u have to ask urself is it worth all the pain and craziness. Don't regret the 13 yrs u've spent wasted so as to stick in this kind of relationship and feelings. u are worth more than that. Sometimes its what makes letting go hard... regreting the lost years. Be thankful u only lost 13 years of ur life. dont make it 20 yrs or more when in the end u will still end up broken and separate. Take note that u already asked him to block the girl. He did, but hehind ur back he still got connected with the girl,so what do u think that means? It looks like he did chose to "cheat". If we love someone, we try our damnest not to hurt the other. We want to make them feel cherished, desired, appreciated. If u don't feel this, why stick to it? If u love one another u don't have to beg for all of these. It will be freely given. Ups and downs should not include a third party. Don't be afraid to let go, if letting go means at the end of the day you still know who u are, because ultimately what matters is u and how u see ur worth. I'm not saying I'm right. But take it from someone who experienced what ur experiencing now. At the end, you being able to look urself in the eye in the mirror is what matters. God bless u.
Mayrah20_5 #3
"A guy who cheated once would do it again". People don´t change in a blink of an eye.I know it hurts but he lost your trust doing what he do.Dont ever cheated because you are better than him. Be happy and stay strong
pusa21 #4
You can not just move on, and forget him. His been part of your life, accept that everything happens for a reason. Move forward and love yourself is the best key. Dont ever cheat because you are not like him. Give time for yourself to cry because of the pain he cost you, but dont do it too much. When your ready mingle with your friends and family, find some things that you love most to do. Keep yourself busy. Make yourself more beautiful, dont drown yourself in self pity,or doubt yourself. You are perfect, he is just born to cheat. 13 years is not a joke, but dont hold into it. cry your heart out. Then move forward.
Llywellyn #5
Thank you so much guys for you advices i really appreciate so much. Its really hard to let go of someone whom I've known like forever but I need to decide on this one. i've realize something that I need to love myself more. i've given too much to him. Im going to move out in our place I need time for myself to heal. It really hurts but I need to. He begs me not to leave but I told him to cool things off for awhile. Again thank you so much guys from the bottom of my heart.
sleepingprince #6
Its wrong to cheat in the first place. I think you should definately take some time to think things over like if he really deserve your love , time and effort after all these years. Dont cheat on him thou cause that will make things worse cause you dont add more salt where it hurts. Talk things over , take time to evaluate your relationship and also work things out but if you cant then its time to let go. Be smart and make the right choice.
vr2782 #7
Doing the same thing he's doing to you is not the answer. I think forgiving him the first time is okay but making the same mistake the 2nd time around is too much.
sweetfabglam #8
you need to be a tough woman now. this time you have to think about your self. and no. don't cheat just because he cheated on you. you were together for so long and you stayed loyal so dont do that. and if ever things got too much for you to handle. then think twice your happiness is your choice don't regret the time your were together for so long but regret the time that your were so sad when you can be happy.
HelloLia #9
I don't think it's still ok to continue the relationship if it's full of lies and distrust. Fight for yourself. Be strong. I know you love him, but if he can do this kind of thing, it's not worth fighting for and to think that you already spent 13 years living together. But, I also feel that if you think there will be sincerity in his words, even if you doubt him if he really blocked the girl, just cool it off first, or let him prove it too you. This is just part of the struggle, and maybe after you both conquer this something will happen that's really really great. Goodluck! You can do it! Respect yourself and don't cheat too. The only thing you could use as a weapon on this situation is being brave to face him and tell him what you feel.
SPiRALS-and-TWiSTS #10
You caught him, he said sorry. But did it again. Is that right? I think it's better to break it off. Don't cheat. Just like what you said, it will make you a horrible person. Don't do the wrong things he did. Be strong. Maybe you can confront him again? But now, without much hope that he won't repeat the same disgusting thing. Cheating, adultery is very gross for me. I hope you'll be okay soon. Keep your self together. I hope you could stay rational. Fighting!
Griffon #11
Cheating is a grave sin in a relationship. ual attraction with the girl u may say and love is another point but then being unfaithful could start a lot of change.
mugirl9182 #12
My dear...dont waste your love , effort & time..you should leave him, i know its really hurt...but it will hurt you more if stay in this kind of relationship...this guy is not for you...let him be...he doesn't deserve you at all...keep your pride up...there is much much better man for you ...you will find your true love. Believe me...because my father been cheating my mom in their 30 years of marriage...my mom knows about it and didn't do anything at all because she didn't want us (me & my siblings) to suffered the 'divorce things'...Until today...my mom still cried every night...do you wanna have this kind of unhealthy relationships...i don't think so...
When you have a chance to leave...you better leave...be happy!
kiyeujay #13
it means he love that girl n whatever u do ll waste. I know u love him so much but it's time to give urself a chance to find s.o truely love u. He cheats doesn't mean u have to be a person like him.Dont degrade unlike that, ur parents raise u to be a better pp. No matter how much u try to forget it, this issue is forever a scar in ur heart. And now u live bc of u not bc u want 2 make s.o jealous, u have ur life, dont change ur personality bc of the people who dun derserve. You should go s.o alone, cry n shout, or write ur pain. Try to find another hobby to focus like volunteer, travelling, photograph, or writing fanfics.... Jst seperate him amount of time to challenge ur heart n head and then decide whether u come back him or not.
exocat15 #14
although if you're really in love then i guess you should take a while off to calm down. don't cheat on him though, that just undermines your argument to get him to be faithful
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