Hello you guys,

It's SaranghaeyoKpop....hehehe its been a long time hasn't it? I first want to apologize for the fact that I have not updated any of my stories for a long time and when I do I'm sorry that there is always a big space between updates. You guys mean the world to me. I hope you know that... You guys don't even know how happy I get when I see how many people subscribe as well as leave so much support in the comments section. I'm am internally grateful to have such beautiful people I can call my friends.

I'm writing right now, because I've been thinking long and hard today on what exactly what I've wanted to say to you. All day infact from the time I stood at the bus stop at approximately 5:58 this morning to where I'm currently laying in bed right now. So here it goes.

I've been thinking alot lately...some good things...and some bad things. Feeling a bunch of different emotions as of lately that I honestly don't know how to express them. It gets to the point where I don't want to feel at all... Sometimes I wish that I can wake up and everything will be the way I want it to be. I'll be the perfect daughter, the reliable friend, the hardest working employee, the ideal role model of an older sibling or even that favorite author who always updates on time.

But I'm not....and I can't accept it

Growing up I always felt that I can do anything and everything. But as I got older I realize that although its still possible, that there are no limitations; its still hard to do the thing I want to do. Graduating highschool only to push off college and work a job I have no passion in really kills the self driven motivation.

I've been feeling like I'm stuck...that I have no purpose. 

I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I feel like I have no one to talk to. Yes I have you guys, but its like one can only do ao much from across the web. Most of my friends are in college and I wouldn't dare tell them as I'm the one who they cometo for support never the one asking for some back. My parents are a different story, I can't talk to them because they will feel as they are to blame for the way I am. I'm just here...me and my thoughts.

Sometimes it feel as if I'm better off not here...or like no longer being in existence. But I can't.... Almoat four years ago I wrote what would have been my suicide note on here... At the time I was 15 and I was just done with world. Done with not being able to fit in or have a sense of belonging due to moving constantly. Done with being upset, angry, and tired all the time. I didn't appreciate life and thought that life would be better without me.

Now its not that I want to die as of right now. No no no.... Over the years I've actually grown to understand and accept the concept of life more. And its the complete opposite now. I want to libe life to the fullest. Its just that as of right now I feel so confused. The cliche my heart is telling me to do one thing but my brain doesn't want to listen..... I don't know what I want to do...

Until I decide what my next steps will be....I will be extending my writing haitus. However, don't think that I have nothing in store with my stories. I have plent ideas, I just need to get my life together before I type it up. 

Good night guys.

*Hugs and kisses* Saranghae!^^~SaranghaeyoKpop<3