ㅤ¿ㅤTHE RELATIONSHIPS AROUND NGSY'S VOCALIST, KAEDEN.
INSPIRED BY LAMBHORNS + MOBILE-FRIENDLY LAYOUT!
LEFT IS DURING THE PARTY, RIGHT IS THE MORNING AFTER
WITH SOOK'S BEING THE EXCEPTION
CW : MENTIONS OF DRINKING, UAL IMPLICATIONS,SHODDY WRITING
( HOVER OVER ICONS + MUSIC NOT NECESSARILY FITTING LMAO )
LEFT IS DURING THE PARTY, RIGHT IS THE MORNING AFTER
WITH SOOK'S BEING THE EXCEPTION
CW : MENTIONS OF DRINKING, UAL IMPLICATIONS,
( HOVER OVER ICONS + MUSIC NOT NECESSARILY FITTING LMAO )
KAEDEN AHN, VOCALIST
he doesn't pity himself. no, never. he's not drinking to try and drown himself from the jealousy he feels or that hopelessness that clamps down on his throat everytime he sees junwi with isang or – god forbid – binna. no. he's drinking to have fun, he's drinking for the buzz, the lack of control and thoughts that follow every sip. before he knows it he's gone, there's nothing else but the music, the feeling of skin against skin as he grinds back against someone whose face he can barely make out. he smiles, eyes barely able to stay open, it worked.
"i'm a ing mess. god, what am i doing? i'm so pathetic." there's something almost raw and exposed about morning afters. how last night was only a temporary respite and like cold water in the morning he's splashed with cold reality as all his struggles are knocking at his door again. yet he does it again and again and again.
he's not blind. he's not ignorant. he can see just how ing pitiful he is, the side of himself he tries to hide to forget about and ignore so desperately. but is that all he will come down to? kaeden is constantly at wit's end with himself. he has his own game of push and pull and these days it's hard to see where it's going to lead or when it's going to end. three years. it's been three years and sometimes he feels closer to a crash and burn into a state of oblivion rather than landing the throne and crown he's coveted all these years. but then his lips meet lips and skin and it's easy to ignore things when you have temporary fix upon temporary fix lining up for you. it's almost as addictive as a drug, and maybe just as detrimental.
BINNA BAUDRY DE LOZIÈRES
BASSIST&SONGWRITER
BASSIST&SONGWRITER
he's pushing it. he's being careless, getting too touchy, too close, too... obvious. yet he still holds onto junwi so comfortably, mumbling nonsensical praise. he should stop. he really should. binna's bound to be somewhere and that thought alone has him feeling like a thousand eyes are watching him. but junwi's not stopping him, he's not retracting, and maybe he is a little too drunk. none of it matters, not when he's almost a thousand percent sure binna is watching. watching junwi lead him to his room, arm around his waist, it doesn't matter that it's probably just to be helpful. somehow he feels like he's won a round.
he's horrible, a jackass who can still remember the thoughts he had from last night. binna's there, probably, he should go out and apologise. for what? last night. he considers it for a moment. then he wonders if it really is an apology when he doesn't feel all that sorry. (he's only sorry he feels this way.)
binna and kaeden's relationship is complicated. it's complicated because technically they're friends, they get along pretty well because they're similar and can relate to each other. but it's exactly because of this similarity that has them seeing each other more critically. and maybe binna to kaeden is that friend he just can't help but be jealous of. rather than feeling congratulatory he'd rather figure out how to one up her or do something equally amazing. it's hard, he doesn't want to be so... horrible towards her in his thoughts but at the same time he can't help it when his vision is clouded green with envy.
so sometimes they're kidding around, enjoying each other's company and conversation, co-operating in the studio as they make music, there's homemade food courtesy of binna and kaeden's already had twenty taste tests and twenty wooden spoon slap marks on his wrist. other times they can't help but grit their teeth as one sees the other doing something they wish they were doing, or feeling as if they could've done it better, or a sense of hostility as the other encroaches territory they don't own. there's a friendly competition but the only thing friendly about it is that they're friends, technically. they say opposites attract, so would these two similarities repel each other then?
so sometimes they're kidding around, enjoying each other's company and conversation, co-operating in the studio as they make music, there's homemade food courtesy of binna and kaeden's already had twenty taste tests and twenty wooden spoon slap marks on his wrist. other times they can't help but grit their teeth as one sees the other doing something they wish they were doing, or feeling as if they could've done it better, or a sense of hostility as the other encroaches territory they don't own. there's a friendly competition but the only thing friendly about it is that they're friends, technically. they say opposites attract, so would these two similarities repel each other then?
HWANG ISANG, DRUMMER
he's barely drank, barely has the taste of cheap alcohol in his throat and it's something he decides he needs to change if he plans on having fun tonight. he's headed for the makeshift bar when isang, clearly had an earlier start, is greeting everyone affectionately. he's a second too late and a meter too close. there's hesitation, they both notice it, but isang goes ahead and gives him a hug and kaeden's too frustrated to deal with this and he pulls away like he's been burnt. but really, the look he gives isang is far more scorching.
he rolls his eyes. not even drunk would he have the patience for isang.
hatred, dislike, jealousy. kaeden feels a lot of things towards the drummer and none all that nice. he just feel so displaced whenever isang's around, as if he can almost feel all eyes move from him to the (taller, more handsome, more liked) drummer. it's not good he knows, he knows. but he doesn't care. he feels like he's been stepped on and kaeden's never dealt with that well. despite how good of a guy isang is, kaeden only sees someone who he has to beat, to be better than or else he's nothing.
when isang finally notices kaeden's treatment towards him it becomes so much easier for him to be candid about his feelings towards isang. he's still not openly acting out towards him, he doesn't want the others to be uncomfortable no matter how much he dislikes isang, but he's not going to sit still silent every time he's within isang's vicinity.
when isang finally notices kaeden's treatment towards him it becomes so much easier for him to be candid about his feelings towards isang. he's still not openly acting out towards him, he doesn't want the others to be uncomfortable no matter how much he dislikes isang, but he's not going to sit still silent every time he's within isang's vicinity.
PORTER GEUN, KEYBOARDIST
he almost drops the cup when porter switches to english as if he can't accept it as reality until he's heard it in every language possible. it's the second time he speaks in english and the words that come out from porter's lips that really has him dropping the drink. he did not just hear what he heard. and he's not drunk enough for this, not right now. so once he regains some semblance of control over himself he's instinctively making a beeline for the alcohol. the strongest.
they're sitting together and... it's true. despite how close he was to drinking himself into a stupor he manages to remember last night. particularly porter's unexpected confession. they're out on the street because it's almost like a warzone in their dorm and kaeden's thoughts alone feel like its own battlefield. outside, it's silent; with porter it's comforting.
when they first met, kaeden's sorry to say that the only thing he thought about porter was that 'he's cute'. but could you blame him? when he was so preoccupied with other things (read, junwi) it was easy to overlook everything else. but proximity has them working closely with each other and maybe it was a kind twist to things that they got along. kaeden finds himself so inexplicably fond of the keyboardist. finds himself doting over him in ways he never thought he'd ever do for any other human being. ever. or maybe it's not all that unexplainable. maybe it's his peculiarity, the almost bravery he has that has him putting things before work even if it meant junwi beating him down with his words. and on a normal day he'd feel the same, it was the team that he was affecting, but maybe it was exactly that mini sort of rebellion that had him intrigued. or maybe it's the fact that junwi didn't like everybody all the damn time that gave him some sort of reassurance.
in a year's time he finds himself much closer to porter than he ever thought he would. in a year's time he finds himself openly criticising his yeezys and finds himself eating out with the keyboardist and teasing him when he tries calling his attention only to be met with a dumbfounded and sheepish smile. he's fond, truly, but there are times when he can't help but feel so frustrated towards him that even those feelings can't rescue porter from his annoyance. but soon enough he's sighing, shaking his head, and just thinking about other things like how he can get porter to finally get rid of those god forsaken shorts of his. it's a testament to how close they are when kaeden finds himself going out of his way to shop for porter.
"this is nice... but it'd be nicer on porter." a size estimate or two later kaeden's carrying two more shopping bags, neither for him, and somehow it makes him feel happy. (until he's met with porter's adamant refusal to wear anything that isn't yeezy.)
in all this time of knowing each other, not once had kaeden even considered the possibility of anything with porter despite how close they'd gotten. it's his fault, really. it's not until the year end party that kaeden's eyes are opened and sometimes he can't help but think back to it and wonder if it was a blessing or just another thing to add to the list of tragedies he's ever experienced.
he's just drunk a shot of tequila and his face is flushed red and it's all so warm and – porter! it's porter. he's here? kaeden almost stumbles, grabbing a plastic cup – plastic cups, he's pouring the first alcoholic beverage he gets his hands on (is it whiskey? rum? he can't read the label) into the two cups before he's heading towards the keyboardist as if he's got a mission. when he s the drink towards porter he leaves no room for refusal, he expects him to down them both and loosen up and maybe even get him to dance with him. what he doesn't really expect is porter's slurred korean, and he really wasn't expecting the english that leaves his lips immediately after.
"no wonder i've been in love with you for the past three years."
what?
he's stunned. into silence, into dropping the other cup. he's not ing drunk enough for this. and he doesn't mean to just leave porter hanging but he's also simultaneously too sober and too drunk to deal with this properly. so he's making his way towards ryland and leaving it up to the leader to get him close enough to death. and it works, for the remainder of the night he's inebriated and oggling junwi and not thinking about how his heart started pacing when porter so honestly confessed. (not until the morning after at least.)
when he wakes up the next day he doesn't even know what's happened just yet, still reliving last night's events and shaking his head at his own stupidity and shortcomings as a human being. when he does find out about the problem he's nursing another headache and he just doesn't have the capacity to deal with things like this so early in the morning. it's a quick look out the window that has him seeing porter without even a second thought he's out the door and when porter looks at him he can't even muster a convincing enough smile. he feels like , and today's turning out to be the tiest.
porter's invitation to sit is met without resistance. then it's just silence. their only background music is the noise in the dorm as junwi and chaekyung are scurrying trying to take care of things. and sometimes kaeden thinks a lot, overthinks too, this time he does not.
"so... is it true? do you like me?" he says it almost casually but porter can tell he's serious. but maybe he doesn't notice the nervousness kaeden can't help but feel amidst the nonchalance because he's not sure how to take this but at the same time he's not one to beat around the bush and hint at things and pray the other understands. so he speaks.
"it's true." and his sigh is so heavy kaeden can't help but feel as if he's a burden. having affections for him are a burden. but before he can even say anything substantial porter cuts him off, saying not to mind his feelings not to acknowledge them and just... know that he has them.
kaeden's not sure what to feel at all.
amidst all the stress, the press, and distress, the band reaches a point of equilibrium as if the storm has finally passed. somehow so do porter and kaeden, ever since their talk, porter's never treated him differently (should he feel offended? thankful?) and neither has kaeden. but rather than shoving that day under a rug and ignoring it's existence completely, kaeden has been thinking about it and flipping the idea around in his head. perhaps the only difference this brings is that he's more careful. toning down his flirtation in hopes of not making it seem like he's leading porter on when he hasn't even come to terms with his own feelings yet.
the year long hiatus leaves kaeden with more free time than he ever thought he'd have in his entire music career. he finds himself spending his time with porter, ryland, occasionally the others of the group, but mostly porter. mcdonald's runs, boys' night outs where kaeden gets over-competitive and brings out the vodka, watching shows like the bachelor and project runway and arguing over their favs. above all else, he spends it thinking. pondering. questioning. he finds himself seriously considering porter and the idea of being with him, because he can't deny that it would be nice – sweet even, if their current interactions are anything to go by – but at the same time he's not sure how he'll handle the eventual neglect when porter puts his projects first, or the possible ruin of their friendship that he's grown so attached to if things fail miserably.
so while he tries getting his thoughts and feelings in order, he's also fooling around and bothering porter and feeling just a tad bit freer. lying on the couch, hogging porter's pillows, and listening to the musician play some pieces on his keyboard or experiment on his pads. not caring too much about his appearance, letting porter see him in a state most times he'd rather cover up. or the times when he can barely get up, too tired, too drunk, too out of it to care that he's a babbling mash of feelings and incoherence in front of porter. because regardless of what decision he comes to, he's already accepted that if porter does like him... he can accept him despite the imperfections and the mess he is most times.
and maybe there was a progression that even he didn't notice. a development that led to them being far closer than before, both in intimacy and bond and in actual distance as kaeden takes up all the space in the couch in the keyboardist's room and pokes porter in the ribs as he questions him about the increasing pile of unused brand clothing in the corner of his room.
kaeden doesn't know what their relationship is going to lead to, not while he's still undecided, but he can only hope for the best. (and that the best doesn't mean losing any of this.)
just like what dria said, you have full control of this relationship train. if you need any more clarifications (especially because this is so badly written mf) feel free to poke either one of us! i didn't quite include some stuff i mentioned to you in the pms but do know that they're all still applicable, although if you need to know where in particular i can always tell you.
in a year's time he finds himself much closer to porter than he ever thought he would. in a year's time he finds himself openly criticising his yeezys and finds himself eating out with the keyboardist and teasing him when he tries calling his attention only to be met with a dumbfounded and sheepish smile. he's fond, truly, but there are times when he can't help but feel so frustrated towards him that even those feelings can't rescue porter from his annoyance. but soon enough he's sighing, shaking his head, and just thinking about other things like how he can get porter to finally get rid of those god forsaken shorts of his. it's a testament to how close they are when kaeden finds himself going out of his way to shop for porter.
"this is nice... but it'd be nicer on porter." a size estimate or two later kaeden's carrying two more shopping bags, neither for him, and somehow it makes him feel happy. (until he's met with porter's adamant refusal to wear anything that isn't yeezy.)
in all this time of knowing each other, not once had kaeden even considered the possibility of anything with porter despite how close they'd gotten. it's his fault, really. it's not until the year end party that kaeden's eyes are opened and sometimes he can't help but think back to it and wonder if it was a blessing or just another thing to add to the list of tragedies he's ever experienced.
he's just drunk a shot of tequila and his face is flushed red and it's all so warm and – porter! it's porter. he's here? kaeden almost stumbles, grabbing a plastic cup – plastic cups, he's pouring the first alcoholic beverage he gets his hands on (is it whiskey? rum? he can't read the label) into the two cups before he's heading towards the keyboardist as if he's got a mission. when he s the drink towards porter he leaves no room for refusal, he expects him to down them both and loosen up and maybe even get him to dance with him. what he doesn't really expect is porter's slurred korean, and he really wasn't expecting the english that leaves his lips immediately after.
"no wonder i've been in love with you for the past three years."
what?
he's stunned. into silence, into dropping the other cup. he's not ing drunk enough for this. and he doesn't mean to just leave porter hanging but he's also simultaneously too sober and too drunk to deal with this properly. so he's making his way towards ryland and leaving it up to the leader to get him close enough to death. and it works, for the remainder of the night he's inebriated and oggling junwi and not thinking about how his heart started pacing when porter so honestly confessed. (not until the morning after at least.)
when he wakes up the next day he doesn't even know what's happened just yet, still reliving last night's events and shaking his head at his own stupidity and shortcomings as a human being. when he does find out about the problem he's nursing another headache and he just doesn't have the capacity to deal with things like this so early in the morning. it's a quick look out the window that has him seeing porter without even a second thought he's out the door and when porter looks at him he can't even muster a convincing enough smile. he feels like , and today's turning out to be the tiest.
porter's invitation to sit is met without resistance. then it's just silence. their only background music is the noise in the dorm as junwi and chaekyung are scurrying trying to take care of things. and sometimes kaeden thinks a lot, overthinks too, this time he does not.
"so... is it true? do you like me?" he says it almost casually but porter can tell he's serious. but maybe he doesn't notice the nervousness kaeden can't help but feel amidst the nonchalance because he's not sure how to take this but at the same time he's not one to beat around the bush and hint at things and pray the other understands. so he speaks.
"it's true." and his sigh is so heavy kaeden can't help but feel as if he's a burden. having affections for him are a burden. but before he can even say anything substantial porter cuts him off, saying not to mind his feelings not to acknowledge them and just... know that he has them.
kaeden's not sure what to feel at all.
amidst all the stress, the press, and distress, the band reaches a point of equilibrium as if the storm has finally passed. somehow so do porter and kaeden, ever since their talk, porter's never treated him differently (should he feel offended? thankful?) and neither has kaeden. but rather than shoving that day under a rug and ignoring it's existence completely, kaeden has been thinking about it and flipping the idea around in his head. perhaps the only difference this brings is that he's more careful. toning down his flirtation in hopes of not making it seem like he's leading porter on when he hasn't even come to terms with his own feelings yet.
the year long hiatus leaves kaeden with more free time than he ever thought he'd have in his entire music career. he finds himself spending his time with porter, ryland, occasionally the others of the group, but mostly porter. mcdonald's runs, boys' night outs where kaeden gets over-competitive and brings out the vodka, watching shows like the bachelor and project runway and arguing over their favs. above all else, he spends it thinking. pondering. questioning. he finds himself seriously considering porter and the idea of being with him, because he can't deny that it would be nice – sweet even, if their current interactions are anything to go by – but at the same time he's not sure how he'll handle the eventual neglect when porter puts his projects first, or the possible ruin of their friendship that he's grown so attached to if things fail miserably.
so while he tries getting his thoughts and feelings in order, he's also fooling around and bothering porter and feeling just a tad bit freer. lying on the couch, hogging porter's pillows, and listening to the musician play some pieces on his keyboard or experiment on his pads. not caring too much about his appearance, letting porter see him in a state most times he'd rather cover up. or the times when he can barely get up, too tired, too drunk, too out of it to care that he's a babbling mash of feelings and incoherence in front of porter. because regardless of what decision he comes to, he's already accepted that if porter does like him... he can accept him despite the imperfections and the mess he is most times.
and maybe there was a progression that even he didn't notice. a development that led to them being far closer than before, both in intimacy and bond and in actual distance as kaeden takes up all the space in the couch in the keyboardist's room and pokes porter in the ribs as he questions him about the increasing pile of unused brand clothing in the corner of his room.
kaeden doesn't know what their relationship is going to lead to, not while he's still undecided, but he can only hope for the best. (and that the best doesn't mean losing any of this.)
just like what dria said, you have full control of this relationship train. if you need any more clarifications (especially because this is so badly written mf) feel free to poke either one of us! i didn't quite include some stuff i mentioned to you in the pms but do know that they're all still applicable, although if you need to know where in particular i can always tell you.
RYLAND KWON-ORTEGA
GUITARIST&LEADER
GUITARIST&LEADER
the first thing ryland asks when he finally finds him is 'drinks?' and kaeden would kiss him if he didn't think he and grace deserved the world. what he does do is give ryland full permission to get him drunk off his . or at least, as close to the legal alcohol limit that he can get.
he hates him. holy . but he can't help but be awed at how he managed to fulfill kaeden's request, so really, it's his own damn fault he wanted to get alcohol poisoning.
about three years ago, kaeden and ryland probably wouldn't have been able to share drinks so easily as they did at the year end. in fact, kaeden might have been reacted similarly to how he did to isang if ryland ever found his way to kaeden that night. because in the beginning of things, kaeden absolutely hated ryland's guts. there was yet again that feeling of envy when ryland was named leader and not kaeden. it just felt wrong to him, he was clearly a better candidate and he couldn't understand why junwi couldn't see that. it didn't help that ryland could get overbearing at times and kaeden hated the restriction he felt.
but as ngsy continued to promote, kaeden gradually lost that jealousy he felt when he realised ryland being leader had no affect on his own popularity. it's thanks to one party, courtesy of binna, where they get drunk off their asses that they really... reconcile.
they're slurring and can barely sit up straight, hands grabbing the last cheese stick and suddenly they're bickering. and suddenly ryland's no longer shouting about the dairy product but about how he doesn't actually have a reason to hate kaeden. kaeden shouts back about how he's the same. the night ends with the bar manager shouting at them as well but even if the party ended that was the beginning of something that kaeden, to this day, is grateful for.
while they did get past their differences, they're not best friends who share each other secrets or anything. but they're close enough to bond over their mutual dislike for porter's obsession with yeezys. this development is something kaeden found relief in because... even he knows it's tiring to always feel so negatively towards others. ryland to him is a form of liberation from the negativity he is so quick to use against others that things can become okay.
but as ngsy continued to promote, kaeden gradually lost that jealousy he felt when he realised ryland being leader had no affect on his own popularity. it's thanks to one party, courtesy of binna, where they get drunk off their asses that they really... reconcile.
they're slurring and can barely sit up straight, hands grabbing the last cheese stick and suddenly they're bickering. and suddenly ryland's no longer shouting about the dairy product but about how he doesn't actually have a reason to hate kaeden. kaeden shouts back about how he's the same. the night ends with the bar manager shouting at them as well but even if the party ended that was the beginning of something that kaeden, to this day, is grateful for.
while they did get past their differences, they're not best friends who share each other secrets or anything. but they're close enough to bond over their mutual dislike for porter's obsession with yeezys. this development is something kaeden found relief in because... even he knows it's tiring to always feel so negatively towards others. ryland to him is a form of liberation from the negativity he is so quick to use against others that things can become okay.
JUNG SOOK, SYNTHESIST
at this moment in time, kaeden can only feel a sense of pity and sadness as he sees sook – barely an adult – having to face a series of events that were far from ideal. especially when said events were the catalysts that led to her eventual instatement as an official band member. it's not the best way to get in and certainly not the best source of attention when you're finally making your debut. he just hopes she can pull through.
maybe it's due to their or maybe it's just that sook and kaeden were never meant to mesh well together that sook and kaeden's relationship never really managed to get past polite cordiality. of course, gradually they warmed up to each other and it wasn't as... detached. but because of her age, kaeden felt inclined to make her feel welcome, to try to be that nice older brother figure who could guide her and help her when she needed help. somehow that dictated their relationship.
in the studio, working, there's no problem. everything feels easier, lighter, they're preoccupied with their own tasks and even when they aren't there's enough going on to give them something decent to make small talk about. outside of the studio there's an unmistakeable distance between the two. although kaeden does try, so does sook, they make it work somehow. in between kaeden's questioning about sook's well-being and her own little story-telling, they manage to form a relationship of sorts.
but when the announcement of sook becoming yongwon's replacement came, kaeden had only two thoughts.
1. okay, at least the problem of losing yongwon is addressed
and
2. but can she handle it?
because as much as he has faith in her, the success of ngsy rests on her shoulders, at least that's what he sees. because if she can't work with the group, if she can't find her spot and keep it, if she can't stay afloat, there's going to be a problem. kaeden doesn't like problems, especially when it's concerning the group and his future.
so he still tries to act the same. tries being extra helpful and accommodating. but at the same time he's watching, gauging, he's a little more criticial – he can't help it. it's for the good of everyone, he swears to no one but himself. he knows she's trying, everyone is. (but will it be enough? – he hopes so.)
in the studio, working, there's no problem. everything feels easier, lighter, they're preoccupied with their own tasks and even when they aren't there's enough going on to give them something decent to make small talk about. outside of the studio there's an unmistakeable distance between the two. although kaeden does try, so does sook, they make it work somehow. in between kaeden's questioning about sook's well-being and her own little story-telling, they manage to form a relationship of sorts.
but when the announcement of sook becoming yongwon's replacement came, kaeden had only two thoughts.
1. okay, at least the problem of losing yongwon is addressed
and
2. but can she handle it?
because as much as he has faith in her, the success of ngsy rests on her shoulders, at least that's what he sees. because if she can't work with the group, if she can't find her spot and keep it, if she can't stay afloat, there's going to be a problem. kaeden doesn't like problems, especially when it's concerning the group and his future.
so he still tries to act the same. tries being extra helpful and accommodating. but at the same time he's watching, gauging, he's a little more criticial – he can't help it. it's for the good of everyone, he swears to no one but himself. he knows she's trying, everyone is. (but will it be enough? – he hopes so.)
BAE YONGWON, FORMER SYNTHESIST
the speakers are blasting, he's sure, but he can only hear a muted sound. lights and colors are blending into incomprehensible shapes and blobs, occasionally regaining focus only to see dark as his eyelids drop. he's beyond drunk now, drunker than drunk. he's stumbling, he hears junwi's voice as he makes his way towards the common area of the dorm again, a figure brushes past him. raven black hair. he stops in his steps, confused. he looks back to see... yongwon's? fleeting figure. he frowns, shakes his head, and heads back to the drinks and where he can hear junwi.
he could've stopped him. ing – god, he – . is this his fault? could he have done something? of course he could've. he could've stopped him. but, it's not entirely his fault... right? god, what was yongwon thinking? was he even thinking? we're ed. we're in trouble. what's going to happen? to yongwon? to us? this is a ing mess.
from the beginning, yongwon and kaeden were the kind of people who could get along but never managed to reach the point of intimacy privy to friendships. there was no friction but neither was there a spark, so most days go by with only idle, friendly chatter if there was ever any conversation between them at all.
sometimes kaeden can't help but wonder what could have happened if he had tried to make a bigger effort to befriend the former member, to get to know him better and develop a friendship – anything but the sorry excuse of a relationship they did have.
that's a part of kaeden's feelings towards him now, but when yongwon was arrested and the lawsuit came about, kaeden had thoughts far from wanting or even envisioning a better relationship with the elder. he was on edge, resentful, frustrated, angered and worried. he couldn't stop himself from blaming yongwon, not when it did really seem like everything was going to because of him. ngsy's image affects his image, and the bad press that accompanied the storm had kaeden anxious and flickering between regret for not having done anything that night to disappoitnment at yongwon's recklessness.
time has mellowed his feelings out and while he doesn't necessarily hate him, kaeden isn't going to jump at a chance of a reunion even if some of the others would love that. he just can't help but see him as a traitor, albeit less negatively than before. nonetheless, yongwon could've ruined them and it's something that's always going to be on kaeden's mind.
sometimes kaeden can't help but wonder what could have happened if he had tried to make a bigger effort to befriend the former member, to get to know him better and develop a friendship – anything but the sorry excuse of a relationship they did have.
that's a part of kaeden's feelings towards him now, but when yongwon was arrested and the lawsuit came about, kaeden had thoughts far from wanting or even envisioning a better relationship with the elder. he was on edge, resentful, frustrated, angered and worried. he couldn't stop himself from blaming yongwon, not when it did really seem like everything was going to because of him. ngsy's image affects his image, and the bad press that accompanied the storm had kaeden anxious and flickering between regret for not having done anything that night to disappoitnment at yongwon's recklessness.
time has mellowed his feelings out and while he doesn't necessarily hate him, kaeden isn't going to jump at a chance of a reunion even if some of the others would love that. he just can't help but see him as a traitor, albeit less negatively than before. nonetheless, yongwon could've ruined them and it's something that's always going to be on kaeden's mind.
SEON CHAEKYUNG, MANAGER
he's finally done getting ready and the first person he sees when he exits his room is chaekyung by the makeshift bar. he sweeps in, chesire grin on his face as he leans in close. the jump of surprise chaekyung does at the sudden invasion of space has kaeden laughing before taking a seat beside her. she punches his shoulder, a pout on her face. he pinches her cheek and coos.
he frowns, concerned, watching as chaekyung walks past him in a hurry. she's on the phone, the rapid fire korean from her lips contrasts her usual soft self. she's trying to fix things, he can see it. he can see it alongside that almost desparation and tinge of fear. he worries for her. yet he can't do anything but try to make her coffee – lots of sugar with milk – and hope she notices it before it gets cold.
ngsy's voice of reason, sort of. despite the fact that chaekyung isn't exactly the typical manager material one would expect, kaeden has taken a liking to her. he would have questioned her ability to manage the group if not for three things. her intelligence, persistence, and soft yet effective method of getting everyone to work.
unlike with ryland, chaekyung's commands feel less restrictive to kaeden and he feels more inclined to listen to her. her dedication has also inspired him in some ways, getting him to to try and work harder, to co-operate with her in general. somehow they end up becoming close, what with kaeden's insistence in helping her out with ngsy publicity related matters4 and this desire of his to gain her approval. because if there's anyone else asides from junwi he wants recognition from, it's chaekyung.
but the difference between chaekyung and junwi is that he doesn't have a mind boggling crush on her and the fact that he can play around much more naturally with her. he doesn't really expect it, but there's something about chaekyung that just pushes kaeden to try his best, to be less of a nuisance towards her and be of better help. he's trying, she appreciates it.
unlike with ryland, chaekyung's commands feel less restrictive to kaeden and he feels more inclined to listen to her. her dedication has also inspired him in some ways, getting him to to try and work harder, to co-operate with her in general. somehow they end up becoming close, what with kaeden's insistence in helping her out with ngsy publicity related matters4 and this desire of his to gain her approval. because if there's anyone else asides from junwi he wants recognition from, it's chaekyung.
but the difference between chaekyung and junwi is that he doesn't have a mind boggling crush on her and the fact that he can play around much more naturally with her. he doesn't really expect it, but there's something about chaekyung that just pushes kaeden to try his best, to be less of a nuisance towards her and be of better help. he's trying, she appreciates it.
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