Thank you guys for your support. I'm not freaking out any more about applying for college. I can't really explain my feelings right now. I'm excited beyond belief. I'm terrified enough to throw up. I'm calm. I'm frantic. This is just a great experience. I feel sort of grounded in my life for once. My problems seem to have gone past and my future is ahead. I can breathe again. 

True, I have a lot of work ahead of me but I know that I have support here and in real life. I am proud of myself. I have gone threw a ton and I've come out of that a better person because of it.  Sorry, this was a strange post but I felt like I need to share the words in my head. 

Thank you for listening :)