Aw, I've forgotten I actually have this one account which nobody, like really nobody, knows. So yeah, this will become some sort of my diary, aside from finding stories to read or trying to make my own story.

So, let's start with this one question. For you who're in third year of college, have any of you ever feel like you're choosing wrong major, but too late to change it because hell, it's already five semesters and only about three more to graduate? Because I have. It's what I'm going through right now.

You see, I'm a literature major (what language, I chose not to tell you). Not exactly though, since I also learn the country's culture. I chose that major voluntarily, no pressure from the others (the fact is, the others kind of baffled when they know about my choice and asked me why). Yet, yet, I can't. I can't frigging mastered the language. It's like I'm still at my first year, not knowing the words or how to make a good, long sentence in that language. Jokes on me, while I failed that class, I also actually got good grades in my 'shared' classes (the ones where I have to study with other majors and sometimes the classes aren't that related with what my major teaches). Be it on required art class, required research methods class, or anything that is considered as my major's subjects.

I know this when I'm in the third semester. Slowly, I got less and less motivated to study. Yet I thought that it will going on just for a while, I will get the hang of it again. And here I am, practically embarrassing myself in front of my much more skilled friends. As if that wasn't so bad, I'm the type who can't simply let go of my mistakes, guilt and all of the negative effects.

It's only lucky, I think, that I still manage to pass my language classes. I've given up my dream to be a translator. Instead, I think I found my other interest. Instead of trying too hard to acing the language, I will focus on the culture. I almost forgot this side of me, who always want to see what other countries' culture looks like. I also planned to do essay about paintings as a graduate requirement. Found out there's not much essays that related to paintings. Understandably so, as the university I currently studying doesn't have actual art department.

Wish me luck, and I wish you luck, too.