Is it normal to love someone more than yourself? I cant really figure it out. What matter the most in your life other than your own self? Is it possible to do too much for another self? It is possible. The fact is I am doing it right now. Being by myself for him. Being far from him which is also for him. He might be crying, he might be thinking what a useless guy I am. I am not hoping for him to understand, just wishing he would not forget. Me, just me in his thought. Though it is not, maybe just a part of him is thinking of me. Maybe just a beat of his heart is saying my name.

They hate it, our relationship. We cant ever be together. I tried, but instead she ended up laying on a hospital bed. She almost died, my mother. How can I, as the only son, stray away from her for my own heart? It is hurting, I cant breathe like how I used to when you were by my side. Sometimes, I ended up crying in my sleep due to the pain. And I cant forget it. Your father's whisper of throwing you away if I keep you by my side. Deep down my heart, I would never let you be alone but I know how much you would cry if your family became your strangers.

They said its forbidden, but what can I do when I already committed the sin? The sin that I cant figure out where the mistake is, where the mishap is. I am clueless of when it appeared but being with you was everything for me. Being with you enlighten my day, my night was calmer, my air was serene. Now I am in confusion whether I really did make a mistake. No my dear, I am not doubting you. It is just me being weak.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs right now. By this bridge, we kissed, we held hands, we cried. By this bridge, we bid our goodbye. I miss you, I need you. Can you hear my silent calls? I want you here. God, I have never believed you. But now, please let me be with him. Cant I?

Please....

Im sorry, I just need a page to pour everything out.

But please God, please let me be with him.