Hello, 

Just a little life update for you all

So recently I have been going through a tone of stuff. That being mentally and physically. 

My mental health hasn't been the best for the past month and my physical health has been effected by this. I am sick a lot more and my sleeping pattern is just all over the place. This week I went sunday night getting no sleep, monday night getting 1hour, tuesday night getting 4hours....I barely sleep. I feel drained. 

Family stuff has been going on but thankfully after my rash that turned out to just be an allergic reaction to some makeup I have been getting a lot more support from my mother. 

I have handed all my courseworks in and one has already been returned for me to edit for January when I go back to college. 

I have been very stressed and just had no motivation to care for myself, I neglected my living space and myself. My room just got dirtier and dirtier to the point you couldn't see the floor and it was just a very unhygienic (cant spell that) area. I felt that keeping myself washed was a chore and everytime I had a shower I felt annoyed and just tired. I knew it was bad the way I was allowing myself to live and as I never really leave my room it was making me sicker. 

Yesterday upon arriving home from college, were I had been given gifts from people that I wasn't expecting and having a pretty calming day knowing I had handed in my photography coursework in a day before the deadline I was relaxed and had a better nights sleep. I came home and stared at my bedroom and just said to myself  

'I cannot live this way, in this state anymore.' 

So I got myself into comfortable clothes, put my hair up and started to clean up. It took me a few hours and two bin liners later and a quick hoover around my room was finally clean again. My desk space was cleaned and rearanged to a much calmer and pleasant looking study space...

and you could finally see my floor. I made my bed, changed the sheets and sorted my wardrobe. 

I was so proud of myself when I sat down and looked at what I had achieved. I felt a lot better in a cleaner enviroment and I am pleased that I cleaned. 

I am hoping to keep myself busy over the next two weeks to keep myself happier and I am always happy when I write to hopefully I can update my stories finally. I do need to study though as I have exams in January literally my first exam is on the 3rd January 2017...*cries* i have three exams that are all 3hours long. 

I have to prepare myself mentally for that week of exams and all my teachers have given me advice on how to stay calm and be prepared. 

I got this!

Also another big update for you all, I have decided to not attend university just yet. I have decided to work for a while to find myself and find what I really want to do with my life before making such a big decision of going to a university. This decision yes got the reaction of great disappointment within my family but my mother soon came to realise just how emotionally I wasn't prepared to go and that I really wasn't ready yet. The day I made this decision I felt a weight lift right off my shoulders and it made me feel a lot better. 

I am a little tired so I better hit the sack haha 

I hope everyone is having a splended December and I wish you a massive happy Christmas if I don't get the chance to closer to Christmas haha

tell me how you've been and what's your best christmas memory~ 

bye bye for now everyone xx