This is not a man vs. woman blog, I am only writing this because I’ve seen how pathetically clingy my older sister is to her own husband last night from her long-distance phone call with our mom, when he doesn’t deserve my sister waiting on him hand and foot. Some women are very lucky, some aren’t, as I have seen my friends, colleagues, neighbours and even my own mother, some of them have very loyal, doting and responsible husbands or partners, while some are very unlucky to have landed either a cheating, uncaring, irresponsive, irresponsible, or just a plain misogynist as a husband or partner. Unfortunately, my mom landed a misogynist as a husband, and my brother-in-law is not as caring, not as responsible, and not as responsive as one would like, and his lack of initiative is a huge annoyance for both me and my mom.

My mom and I both currently work and live in Hong Kong, thousands of miles away from my sister and her husband who reside in the U.K, but we would try to fly back once in a while to visit if we can. Over the past visits, we have witnessed how my brother-in-law is all of uncaring, irresponsive and irresponsible, he has no initiative when it comes to sharing the house and gardening chores, or the responsibility of the upkeep of the house, and he would only lift a finger and help a little when prodded by my mom, but every single time, he would only do a little bit here and then, and then he would be sat back down at the couch as he plays either on his mobile or on his X-Box, and he often leaves my sister to do all the heavy lifting, when he is perfectly fit to do it (he’s a boxer, for crying out loud!). However, what’s worse was on our most recent visit in October, was that we realized whenever my sister is clearly very upset, he doesn’t comfort her and he would just be sitting by the side, leaving her alone (even when her being upset has nothing to do with him), and that was when we learned that he apparently cannot stand people crying…

But the most painful thing to watch was to see and hear from my sister that she thinks it’s totally fine and okay that her husband is that way, in fact, she thinks she should be the one looking after him 24/7, the one to take care of all his needs 24/7, and that how he feels is her No.1 priority. WHAT THE ?! What century are we in? She is now the one who is always compromising him, for his convenience sake and for how he feels. I’m sorry, but the amount of compromising should be fair and square between a couple, i.e. the man should do some compromising too and consider how his partner feels too. If a woman dotes on a partner who also happens to be a respectful, loyal, doting and responsible partner, I have no problem with that…but when it comes to a woman like my sister…it is incredibly infuriating and it is practically a huge slap in the face.

As if women, in general, don’t face enough prejudices and discrimination and/or ual harassment in the society and the workplace already…even if we don’t face open discrimination, discrimination can still be discrete and behind closed-doors. I have worked as a paralegal in a couple of law firms, and I have been told more than once by my female mentors that whatever I do, do not say you and your partner are planning to start a family, even if you want to. I have also seen former colleagues being replaced after coming back from maternity leave, and one of them suffered a huge sting, she was allowed to return to work, yes, but she came back only to find one of her former trainees has jumped rank and became her superior. Also, the fact that Donald Trump is elected is a worrying call, and things has already gotten worse, what with the 12 years old boy who grabbed his classmate between her legs, and when being disciplined, he simply said, “the President-elect can do it, so can I”, just because Donald Trump said you can “grab them by the p***y”…

For a woman to act and behave like my sister, practically like an actual live-in maid/housekeeper/servant, to a man who clearly doesn’t deserve your 24/7 attention and TLC, in my personal opinion, it is a huge slap in the face for all women, and especially those who are vocally supporting and fighting for women’s rights or equal treatment for women, e.g. those who are demanding equal pay for women. Jeez, where is your self-worth? Or do you have to lower yourself that much? I know love is blind, but at least keep a clear-head still, open your f***ing eyes, and open your f***ing ears! Not all men deserve to have their partners’ complete and utter devotion! Just like my step-dad, after several bouts of cheating, my mom has finally stopped caring and doting, and she now refuses to compromise with him in anything.