subject: very sad

I write in this blog because I feel like this is the only place I have to actually say whatever I really feel, and that's sad, because there are people who we call friends but you don't feel like you fit in enough with them to actually call them when you feel like crying.

Right now, I'm listening to sad vocaloid music because well, life is just so sad? I'm so negative right now, but just let me be. Do you know..my joy is actually so easy, but right now even if I listen to happy things I can't even. I'm so tired of thinking of the future. No, I'm not worrying. I just feel tired, because it's like everything just repeats.

I don't even think I'm appreciated well by friends, or anyone really. I don't think people appreciate what I write, but then I just think that I do love to write, because.. I just do. It's not even a good excuse. But now I can't even write. I've poured all my ideas out and lately I've been publishing them (they're on my stories) but now I have no new ideas, plus I become more down since I feel like no one cares at all. 

I feel like no one has the time to talk to me. 

I feel like I'm just bothering everyone. I hate it.

I hate it that I'm such a paradox. You know?

One day, I'll be happy then I'll be sad the next. One day I'll have everything then I'd feel like I had nothing at all to begin with.

Right now, it's okay if no one reads or notices this I did. Right now, what matters is that I got these emotions out before I explode.

If you're reading this, thank you for the thought.

-Min