do you ever wonder who's behind the screen of someone you talk to online? do you ever wonder what they're like irl, if that's how they are in person?

do you, yourself, act differently online on aff/twitter/tumblr/etc., compared to how you are in real life?

i don't usually talk about my personal problems on aff (i talk about my fic problems, like if someone is being rude or plagiarized me, etc.), but not my actual personal problems. this is bc i use aff to post stories and interact with my readers and i prefer to keep this as a "happy" place of sorts, you know? if i don't feel well i just keep silent about it.

but i thought i should let you guys know, that i'm taking a semi-hiatus. i've been, for this whole month. so this is kinda a delayed announcement, but yeah. if you've been following me on twitter or askfm, you'll know i haven't felt well lately.

the truth is i have terrible anxiety irl. i'm terrified to approach people first. this translates to aff too where i've told you guys before i don't really talk to anyone here unless they talk to me first. but the problem is worse irl. i have panic attacks often from the littlest things. if something is bothering me i keep mulling over it to the point where i hyperventilate and freak out really badly. it's very easy to set me off into a blubbering mess. i guess i'm over-sensitive. this is why when i receive hate comments it's easier to make me angry or sad, when other readers are telling me, oh just brush it off. ignore them, etc. but it's hard for me to do that. but i digress. that is a rant for another day haha.

i also have other mental issues i won't delve into, bc that's just gonna get even more gloomy. but i think this is why i write a lot of psychological fics, since i have a lot of psychological problems myself. LDKR and FD, in particular, are going to tackle a lot of psychological issues that i personally find fascinating, or am afflicted with, myself.

anyway i'm taking lots of medications now and i'm resting, basically. i'm trying not to stress over updates and only write when i feel like it. this is why if you don't read Fatalis Dilemma, you basically haven't heard from me all of october bc that's the only thing i've been updating.... i managed to squeeze out a Chasing the Elusive chapter last week, but that's it. i only rly feel like writing FD nowadays. it's honestly my fave story and writing it makes me happy. so i'm sorry in advance to everyone who doesn't read FD and wants my other fics updated instead :-(

i will try to update LR soon. and continue CTE. but i'm just letting y'all know updates will come not as quick as before (i used to update every 2-3 days... wow that's crazy fast when i think about it @__@) just in case you guys don't read FD and are like, omg where's pcyosh?? like. guys i'm here!! i'm just mostly writing FD nowadays hahaha.

umn that's it! thanks to everyone who continues to support me. i love you guys ♥

and yes, an FD update is coming next since i'm writing the next chapter now... i honestly can't stop writing this story ahhh >.<

EDIT: oh, i forgot to say, if any of you want to talk to me on a more personal level, you can chat with me on Line, my user ID is also pcyosh there :)