Hey guys, it has been quite a while, hasn't it? Thing is, when you detach yourself from something for too long, you kinda feel that it won't be the same again. And that's true because this AFF is never going to be the AFF that I left behind.

I don't think anyone knows, but I used to run an IG account where I posted edits and stories of EXO. Of course, I quit due to personal reasons but I regret doing so. Now, I always feel so nostalgic when I think back to it. I wish I could go back to it but the friends I had back then are no longer there, and honestly, it just feels like everything has changed.

Truthfully, I fell out of Kpop a long time ago. Maybe 2 years ago. That was around the time I left my old school and transferred to a new one. I don't know why I fell out of Kpop, it was just one of those things that happened without an explanation. Maybe I found a new fandom, maybe I just decided that an EXO that was not OT12 was not an EXO I wanted to be part of the fandom of. 

Yes, I miss Kris and Luhan and Tao. How could I not? I miss the days of EXO Showtime and EXO First Box. I miss the Wolf and Overdose era. I miss the OT12 era. Because really, once you become part of something, you don't really want it to change. And after all those fanfics I read about OT12, it just doesn't feel right to not read or write about EXO as a whole anymore.

I had a second trip to Korea this September. Honestly, it felt jaded to me. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I wasn't really into anything besides the food. Maybe it was because it contained memories from my past trip when I had been a hardcore EXO fan. It just felt too... surreal for me. It only sank in about 2 weeks after my trip that I had been to Korea. All my classmates who liked Kpop and K-dramas were envious of me and they asked how my holiday there was and I felt like because I didn't know what else to say besides "It was fine."

Have any of you ever felt like that?

I think I'm still in the process of finding myself. After all, I just turned 15 this year. However, just thinking of the upcoming IGCSEs I have to take next year is daunting, and I don't dare to even think as far as university. I don't even know what I want to do for a living. I don't want to grow up as one of the people who hate their jobs and dread waking up everyday. Yet, I feel as if that's what I'm destined to become, given my procrastination skills.

I know I promised to try to finish Baozi. Recently, I went back and re-read most of my works and honestly, I cringed a lot. That's a cliché reaction but it's true. My earlier works are... suffice to say, not something I would read if I were in a bookstore. Then again, is anyone's?

I feel like I have lost my feel for writing. Maybe it's because of my english teacher. He truly does suffocate the atmosphere in the class. He even snaps his fingers at us when we talk in class. I dread every English class I have and I can't remember the last time I wrote an essay I liked.

On a brighter note, GOT7 came back and stole my heart. Also, I'm probably about a million years late to the party but I was watching Happy Family and I kinda fell in love with BigBang (yes, so very late I know).

My exams are in a week's time. In fact, they start on the Friday of next week. I kind of want to kill myself over all the essays I'll have to write, especially the ones with mathematical formulas. Even knowing this, I still find myself delaying studying, though I still have loads of notes to catch up on. 

Well, see you guys then. This has been a brief look into my life and the amount of boredom it exudes.