Have you ever wondered , what is going on inside of someone's head? 

Wouldn't you like to know? *big big big smiley face that becomes creepy after three seconds*

Whale then, what have I been thinking about today?

*In progress*

Way too much stuff

Like how much homework i have to compete but have no idea how to complete

Like how confusing all the BTS short films are

So ya dead/not dead/trying to not die/trying to die...???? Whatcha doing boi

Like how people should use the stairs instead queuing up for the escalator y'all blocking the way

Like how weird it is that it seems that I curse polls to fail when I participate... How is it possible that my choices always end up the minority O-o 

Like how nice it would be to be able to experience living with just my sis for a week

Like how amazingly stress-free life would become without school

Not because of the school work, oh no

I'm talking about the people 

The people who judge you like that's the they're supposed to do

If you braid your hair, they don't go like "omg your hair's damn nice today" or "dayum how you do that"

No no no no no they ask "why'd you braid your hair today"

Then behind your back they be like "eh she want act cute/be pretty"

......

Um excuse me for braiding my hair because I felt like it.

And best part, they're all girls.

They separate themselves into their own squads and shut out people they don't like

I literally have just one somewhat close friend but because she has many many other friends I'm always pushed away by them so I end up not bothering anymore whether we get to hang out even a little every day

I find myself really dumb because it's not as if I didn't try to make friends

I'm everyone's second choice in terms of company

So I'm never actually with anyone at one point of time

our class is odd numbered

So I'm always left out

It's gotten so bad that I've settled for disappearing into the toilet during the one hour period of PE (physical education) or feigning sickness to be sent to the sick bay, where I ask to lock the door because I need to be alone

It usually ends up with me making up lyrics from the English, Chinese and scraps of Korean, Japanese and Malay that I know and then singing to a random beat but then screaming at the end

That makes the counselor come in and try to console me but I don't want to talk because I break down over nothing

I'm only 14 and I believe I don't deserve the you guys give me just because I can't run like you do, heck I can't even walk like you do, I'm not as pretty as you, I'm not as slim as you, I'm not as smart as you, I'm not as strong as you and I'm not as talented as any of you.

Sure I can write, but so can you, and you do much better than I do.

Sure I'm in choir, but you can read music notes and I can't. No matter what I do.

Sure I'm human, so are you, but it doesn't seem like you're bothered to treat me like one.

I'm not trying to act cute

I'm not a flirt. Have you seen the awkwardness I exude around guys in general. Have you seen it. Obviously not because I don't talk to them enough to even be considered socialising, forget flirting.

I'm not trying to act cool. I'm not cool. I'm in fact pretty lame and nerd like. You said it yourself and I agree, so could you leave it?

Yes I know I'm weak, physically we both know, mentally only I know. Every tiny comment you make I get a bit hurt. It's been some time so there's some I brush off

Maybe I shouldn't have because now there's no one at my side.

I don't want this to continue and even though there's a lot more I haven't said, I hope it's clear enough how much this for me and maybe you.

Eh whatever my problem my own made up solution.

Just got two or so more years to go