Have you ever asked yourselves why life is so hard? Human beings are very complex creatures,   all different from one another and resorting to different methods to get through, but in the end all of us want one thing: to be happy.

Happiness shouldn't be a secondary achievement in life. We should actively seek it. The problem is there are always people who will judge your ways. 

I'm going through a very difficult situation right now and I felt the need to share it here knowing nobody will judge. 

I went to university and graduated. I worked for two years in my field. It was emotionally distressing. At first I thought I could get used to it, to just adjust and move on but as weeks and months passed I came to discover it was draining me. I found it disheartening having to get up in the mornings knowing I had to go do what I did. No matter how many pep talks I got before leaving, it neclver calmed my anxiety, it never helped me at all. I tried. I never half assed, but all it did was stress me out further. It is incredibly sad to realize you absolutely do not like what you do and the thought of having to do it for the rest of your life is even worse.

So I made a decision. I'm ing 27 years old and I should be able to be happy doing what I want. I decided to quit and do this insightful life searching process. There are so many things that make me happy; writing, cooking, languages. Things I could get profit from, make a career of. The thing is I don't know where to star . How to start. I started this home business, catering and it makes me happy. It doesn't earn me as much as my other job but I'm just starting, who says it won't get better? 

To make matters worse, I still live with my parents. I think that is the main problem, but I can't afford living on my own. My mother thinks I'm wasting my time and has no problem sharing that thought. My dad doesn't make a comment but I know he's judging me. My older brother has no idea and my older sister knows and tries to be cool but I know she's judging me too. 

I can't help but feel ashamed deep down. I feel so selfish for not considering the sacrifices everyone made for me, but neither can I put myself through that heartbreak. I can't spend my life doing something that leaves me empty inside.

I just wishes those closest to me would understand my position, would see how much it hurts thinking I'm constantly disappointing them. I wish they just told me that it's ok to be selfish once in a while when it comes to your life, to your happiness. I wish they could help me figure things out instead of being judgmental. I'm just a human being seeking for my happiness but having a hard time figuring out how to get it. Don't I deserve to be cut some sack?

All I want is to be happy.