WARNING: This post is super duper long and maybe boring for you

So, I'm on my last year of high school. And this gloomy year started when the end of semester break, this eid fitr to be exact. I have a cousin, a one year older cousin, and her mother said that she got an invitation to an elite university owned by a telephone conpany in Bandung. So I looked up the internet to find out if that university is listed as SNMPTN (the university who invites students), but no. SNMPTN is only for university owned by our country, just like University of Indonesia and all. so I stalked her Instagram and find out that she got an invitation into a ... Um idk how to call it in english, it's not a univertsity, but higher than high school but you'll be studying all day long for 2 years only and wear uniforms. LIKE WTF WHY DID YOU LIED TO ME AND MAKE MY MOM GOES "omg, look at her, she got an invitation to Bandung" AND MY FATHER WENT "she's so smart" WHEN DUDE, IN FACT I KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT THAT SMART. I MEAN, HER SCHOOL DOESN'T HAVE A REALLY GOOD REPUTATION AT THE BEGINNING.

But that's not the most important part! So my mom told her I ranked 5th from 33 students in my class for the semester, and her mom was like "omg, she ranked JUST 5th?" As if ranking 5th is easy. EXCUSE ME AJUMMA, BUT YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER GETTING AN INVITATION TO BANDUNG, BESIDES, IT'S NORMAL IF I SHE RANKED HIGHER THAN ME IN HER SCHOOL, I MEAN MY SCHOOL IS VERY STRICT ABOUT RULES, AND THE SCORE DIFFERENCES IS NOT THAT BIG, TRUST ME IF SHE GOT INTO MY SCHOOL, SHE WON'T EVEN RANK 33rd

and still, from this kid's mother, she went all like "my daughter's skinny, so she's super pretty". WTF TRUST ME SHE'S NOT PRETTY, BESIDES, DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT BODY SHAMING IS?.

And from my uncles. I was asked which high school I entered, so I told him I entered one of the best high schools in my city, but when he asked what major I take, and I said I take Social because I wanted to be a lawyer, he was all like "social? Xxx is science major, right, xxx?"

Fyi, in my country, people often think that those who take science major is smarter than people who take social--but ofc I think that's stupid. My score is enough to take science, but I choose Social, and trust me, I'm not that smart.

AGH I'M SO SICK AND TIRED TO BE COMPARED TO THAT GIRL. THIS MAKES ME PRESSURE MYSELF TO BE BETTER THAN HER. I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT I GOT INTO THE BEST UNIVERSITY OWNED BY COUNTRY FOR LAW SCHOOL.

Next, there was this kid sitting behind me, she pierced her tongue, so as a good friend, I told her what I knew, that we won’t easily get into a country owned university if you got tattoo or piercing (country owned university is known to be better than the company ones). But she acted as if she’s smarter than me and told me that there won’t be any physical test in university—AS IF I DON’T HAVE 4 SISTERS AND ONE BROTHER WHO ALL WENT TO COLLEGE AND THOSE TESTS, but fine, I didn’t make a big deal out of that.
But the next day, she told me that the university of Indonesia is located at the southern Jakarta, but I told her, it’s at Depok, but again, she acted smart and won’t believe me—AS IF MY SISTER DIDN’T WENT THERE. I tried telling her that I went to UI Depok once, still she won’t believe me, but okay, it’s not like UI will directly accept me if I won the debate.
BUT THIS LAST ONE REALLY PISSED ME OF. After acting like she’s smarter than me for a lot of times, still if there’s an exam or if teachers told us to do simple quiz, she FORCED me to tell her the answers. I mean, I’m fine if you want me to tell you the answers, you know, I sometimes asked for answers too in math, but EVERYTHING HAS A GOOD WAY, okay. I don’t mind as long as you DIDN’T BOTHER ME ON DOING MINE. But no, I was still writing my task when all of a sudden she bothered me, like “what’s the answer?” “Tell me, quick” “how do I change this conversation?” “What is offering help?”. PLEASE. THE TEACHER ALREADY EXPLAINED ALL OF THAT AND YOU ASKED ME?! AT LEAST WAIT UNTILL I’M FINISHED.

And there’s also this girl beside me. She also asked for answers on the very last minute, when there are only a few words left of my task to write. So I usually said, “no, wait a minute, only a few words left” so that it’ll be FASTER FOR ME, NOT FOR HER. But she was all like “no, that’s fine” and pulled my book. Like WTF?.

There are also times where are in lunch, I usually brought my own lunchbox, and hey, I’m actually fine with sharing my foods, but there are people who I don’t even know who their name is, and asked me to share my food. It’s fine actually, if only you’re not a FRIEND OF MY NUMBER 1 BIGGEST ENEMY AND TALKED BAD BEHIND MY BACK WITH HIM.

Speaking of my number one enemy, there’s also this guy who is his best friend. This guy is extra extra annoying. So my first conflict with him was when he sprayed water all over the class when he played with his fcking best friend. And unfortunately,those water ruined my drawing, so I shouted some curse words at him but he just ran away—wtf?. So after the school was finished,he came in front of me and sing some disgustingly disgusting love song to me, but I can see from his face that he was definitely doing that to piss me off,so I just rolled my eyes at him and left. The other day, when I was walking down the hall, he pointed at me and talked to his best friend who is my number 1 enemy. “Hey,here comes your girlfriend!”

WHAT.THE..?

EXCUSE ME, WHO WANTS TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND? HE’S NOT HANDSOME, NOT RICH, AND NOT EVEN SMART TO HELP HIM. But I just ignored him as if I didn’t heard him—knowing those tryhards,they will definitely be like “who is talking about you?” Once I confront them. And just yesterday, he showed up in front of my face and acted all friendly-like, “HI! How are you?” WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY ONE OF HIS WAYS TO PISS ME OFF AND MADE ME SEEMED LIKE THE BAD PERSON.So I just left as if I didn’t hear him.

And next, speaking about thatguy, my number 1 enemy, the biggest tryhard of our school,I’ve been starting to hate him since the beginning of highschool. It was break time and I was talking to my friends at class, but he shouted “ IT. COULD YOU PLEASE STOP BEING SO NOISY? I’M FVKCING DIZZY”
Ok, dude, firstly, if you’re dizzy, just go to the clinic. You can sleep there. Second,who are you to tell me to shut up when what I’m doing is obviously didn’t against any rules?. But thinking that I don’t want to make enemies anymore, I ignored him and speak more softly.
A few days later, there were an economy quiz, and he just can’t stop singing, AS IF HIS VOICE IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE’S VOICE. One of his friends is also singing, but he was all like “stop singing, it wasn’t like your voice is good”. WTF? Who does he thinks he is?. Does he think that his voice is KRY level?. So I gave him a piece of my mind.

“xxx, will you please shut up? Or at least lower your voice? I’m trying to concentrate on this quiz”

But he ignored me. WTF? WHAT AM I? CHOPPED LIVER?.

Okay, that totally made me lost my patience. So I shouted. “ IT. WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT YOUR ING MOUTH? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU TOLD PEOPLE TO SHUT UP, AND TOLD PEOPLE TO STOP SINGING BECAUSE THEIR VOICE ISN’T GOOD, DO YOU THINK YOUR VOICE IS GOOD? WHO ARE YOU? A SINGER?”

Excuse me, everything has limits, okay?.

But still, he ignored me. So I threw my pencil case at him and shouted the exact same thing.
But he was all like “YOU’RE ING LUCKY THAT YOU’RE A GIRL”
“SO WHAT IF I’M A MAN? YOU WANNA PUNCH ME? GO AHEAD DUDE, I’M NOT SCARED. BUT LET ME TELL YOU THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GOING TO LET YOU GO. FYI, THAT’S AN ASSAULT TO AN UNDERAGED GIRL”
Maybe that dude was lost for words, he just cursed me behind my back, which is still audible to me. And I just ignored him as I blasted Yesung’s Blind in the highest volume using my phone and headset.
The next time, he acted all friendly to me just because he needed me to answer his task in history. I ignored him and he seems like he doesn’t like it, so the next day, when I do a presentation in front of class, he acted like “shut up you’re so noisy”
Wtf?. People said I looked like I’m a good girl outside, I looked like someone who will easily be a victim of bullying. But I’m actually nothing like that. And this tryhard seems to didn’t know that fact. I faked a smile and said in my best loudest but not shouting voice. “Then go out. This is a presentation and public speaking class which told me to be loud. This isn’t a hotel for you to sleep”
And he just rolled his eyes—which I take as a sign that he was lost for words.
And in the 2nd year, I was doing my task at school, when he meddle on it. I mean, BRO THIS IS MY FCKIN GROUP. So I tell him “xxx, will you please stop meddling on other people’s business?”
“I was talking to my friend, not you”
“So what? Your friend is a part of my team. So you’re meddling on my team. STFU dude”
And luckily, this time the teacher defended me, telling him to say sorry *smirk.
If you think that was my only conflict with him, you’re 100% wrong.
Our teacher parted us into groups and She accidentally put me with him. I said that I don’t want to be his groupmate, and our teacher approved it. But he was all like “not that I want to be your groupmates, either”
I rolled my eyes and said. “Good because that means you and I should never ever ever ever become groupmates, because I don’t want it too”
He ignores it. Why does he keeps on saying stuffs that is easy for me to rebate?.
And one of the most recent trouble, I sat in front of an aircon in my class, so it was cold in my seat, but then suddenly he changed the air flow direction to him, saying that he paid for this school for the aircon facility.
Wtf?. “If you paid, then I also paid. Who tf are you to dominate that aircon by yourself?” I said as I changed the direction of that aircon back to the normal—fyi, the normal one usually spread into the whole class, so there are lots of kids defending me.
And then, just today, he smoked at class, making the smokes spread everywhere. WTF? Doesn’t he know that smoking in an air conditioned room is super dangerous?. But I ignored him as I keeps on coughing—maybe he’ll realize, but no, he didn’t realize. He’s the true meaning of bird brain, duh.
And as if that’s not enough, I’m fckin tired of those tryhards. Yesterday, there were a socialization about a scholarship in singapore. Of course, I’m interested in it. But no, those tryhards fight for a spot in that socialization just because they WANTED TO SKIP CLASS. Like wtf.

And the last year is so hard because people keeps on telling people here and there to do this and to do that. Actually this is my friend’s case, but I’m really pissed off for her. She wanted to go to psychology major right after graduating, but her parents told her to go to acounting school, for that she’ll get jobs right after graduating. I mean, why don’t you let her try? She know what she wants. Her parents said that if she takes psychology, that doesn’t make sure that she’ll get jobs right afer graduating. I know what they meant is good, but why can’t parents understand what their kids wanted?.

Why why why my last year is so full of drama ><

It’s not like I hate my friends or my school, they are such a great friends, they just can be annoying sometimes. If I hate them then I already transferred class since my very first year since in my school once you got a class then you’ll never change classmates again for 3 years.

Well… Sorry for the long post, just wanted to let all of the things in my mind ;)