I've never really considered talking about myself much before, but after almost four years writing here, I wanted to tell a little about myself, why I started here and why I've stayed. 

As some of you know, I'm from New Zealand, we're usually "that place where Lord Of The Rings was filmed" or the stunning views. Years ago though, my hometown was rocked by a series of earthquakes, some just a shake enough to wake you and one that really shattered a lot of things that once stood solid.

During that time,there was a lot to think about and it was one of the most stressful times in my life I can recall, during that time though I found a community, originally it wasn't here, I never even thought about writing how I do now, but when I did, it was something that really freed my mind, added a calm in a time that was anything but and during that time I'm glad I found a community that was so welcoming. In music, in writing.

And while I've never really made any personal friends here, I'm very glad I found a place like this, even if I have my gripes every so often, it's always remained my calm to write here and if I bring joy to anyone, even if just for a moment doing that, I consider it so very worth it. 

When I first started, my stories were.. well I don't look at my old work myself and it was a rusty start. For a lot of my stories, I grew the reputation to abandon those stories and I did. For some, I thought I failed and others were more complicated. 

For "Roll The Dice" I had grand plans of where I wanted it to go. I thought it was my first shot to make something memorable and if I truly thought on it, it could have been. But writing a subject so deeply personal to me was a scary thought. The version of Taeyeon, the "gamer" was like a reflection of things I've deeply enjoyed in my life, things that have really given me joy.

And sharing that is a truly scary thought and sharing this is terrifying in of itself, I never give the reason I stopped writing something, but I always try to think of more than I simply lost interest. 

With "Without Solace" I remember thinking of the concept, I rushed to grab a notebook cause if I lost the thought I'd be in regret, I remember writing the first chapter and my fingers flew across the keyboard like the words had already been written in my head, I need only bring them out. 

It took off and I remember feeling intensely happy that it was one of my first stories to be received so well, so widely and maybe even loved. 

I suffered a traumatic event not long after I'd written the last chapter to it and during that time, I never considered writing anything for a long time. 

I didn't want to come back during that time. I thought about deleting my account and leaving forever and as I sit here writing this, I'm so glad I didn't. 

Sometimes updates slow down, for weeks, maybe even a month or two and I know it frustrates some of you and I don't feel I have to explain myself for those times, I've never felt that way, but I would like to say why. 

I do talk about my health sometimes, but it's not physical and I've always been so heartwarmed when you all ask me to take vitamins, get some rest. I appreciate the thought and really those thoughts help a lot to know there's just a little care. I've hesitated to talk on it for a long time and I won't say precisely what it is, but I've struggled with my health like this for my whole life and it's part of why even giving some joy to just one person feels so surreal. 

I thank you all so much and I mean it, cause in the smallest of ways, it's been life changing for me to take this journey.

I hope in the future, you all stay along. I hope I only get better at what I do. 

Thank you all so much, it's been quite a ride so far, let's hope that ride goes on much longer. 

Keira~