This is a rant so if you do not wish to read just leave. 

I need to get this out before I have another meltdown. 

I get a bursary at my college that helps me with funding for my college supplies and bus pass costs...the price of my bus pass is £556 and I can't afford that. I gave my mother a form earlier this year to fill out so I can get my bursary from September but guess who couldn't be ed to fill it out- My ing mother and she even lost it so I had to get another and she yet again refused to fill it out for me and when I went to pay for my deposit for my bus pass I get told I need a form- Which now turns out to be a lie because I have now been told that you don't need a form because everyone just paid without filling out a form. 

I was supposed to hand it all in today...but guess who threw up at college yesterday *raises hand* and had to stay off because she is sick *keeps hand raised* 

The deadline is this Friday and I am panicking over everything because if I can't get my bursary I won't be able to go to college. I am so ing upset right now and do you know what my ing mother did this morning! she ing gossiped on the ing phone with her 's of friends for ing three hours and then called my brothers school but then ing REFUSED to call my ing college to let them know and sort something out with the bursary. 

I have broken up for the holidays now meaning the ing college is closed. SHE SEEMS TO ING THINK SHE CAN PAY IT ALL IN ING SEPTEMBER AND GIVE THE FORM IN SEPTEMBER! WHY DOESNT SHE ING UNDERSTAND THERE IS A ING DEADLINE!!!!!!!!!

I have cried today, I am not well, and the voices in my ing head are having a ing field day. I am not okay. This is just ing bull. 

ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS PICK UP THE ING PHONE AND CALL MY COLLEGE TO TALK ABOUT IT! BUT NOOOO SHE ING COULDN'T BE BOTHERED AND TALKED TO HER FRIENDS INSTEAD! SAKE! I AM SO ING DOWN WITH THIS FAMILY! I WAS MADE TO MAKE THEM BREAKFAST AND EVEN ING WASH THEIR PISS OFF THE ING FLOOR THIS MORNING BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS INCAPABLE OF ING DOING IT HIMSELF WHEN IT IS HIS ING PISS! I AM ING UNWELL AND I AM FORCED TO BE A ING SLAVE. 

'Sophie make me a coffee, Sophie make us breakfast, Sophie clean the kitchen,bathroom,bedrooms, take the bins out, do the washing, sort the clothes out, oh your brother is getting a pair of £75 shoes don't worry you have enough stuff already' I HAVE NO ING SUMMER CLOTHES, I AM USING BROKEN SHOES THAT HAVE HOLES IN AND THE SOLES ARE ACTUALLY FALLING OFF, I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING COMPARED TO MY OF A BROTHER. 

I get nothing out of doing all the work and the minute I am sick god forbid that, I might as well be dying and I would be told that I am faking and that I can still do the housework etc. The minute they get sick everything stops and I have to care for them both because 'oh i am dying, I am in so much pain...' My mum gets headaches and I have been getting persistent once for the past three weeks now and every time I would complain about being in pain my mother would say 'you are fine they are just stress headahes mine are so much more worse' the fact I was told by all of my teachers to go see a doctor because they could see how I was being affected by these headaches...my mum turned round and had a massive go at me. 

The minute they get sick, they go to the hospital, however when I get sick- 'oh you are being dramatic you are perfectly fine stop faking' I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE DOCTORS FOR 4 YEARS! FOUR ING YEARS.

I am so done

I am just going to cry and allow myself to be a little for a bit. this