hear me out

 

i dont know how to break it to you guys /crying in the corner/

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hey guys I'm back hahaha lol with another bunch of problems on my plate weeee /idk y but i got this feeling like i'm doing a youtube vid rn liek whud/ / k k ignore it/

so, recently one of my bestrfriend kinda hating on me (or maybe she's just sulking hmm). and its all happened because I dont tell her I wanna hang out with one of my classmate/okay-friend (since she's not my bestfriend yet not only my friend haha) urghhhhhhh

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my clique consists of 4 members (uh whud) one being possessive over me af like imma her wife, one like to bully me because apparently being 157cm does you no justice /cry again/ one is my bestfriend since middle school—oh wait, actually its 5 peoples hahaha sorry babe— one is always busy with school extra curriculum, and one is me just being me yeay

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possessive = bff 1
bully = bff 2
middle school = bff 3
xtra curriculum = bff 4
okay-friend = ok-f

idek anything then bff 2 send me her conversation with bff 1 and said nothing after that:

[bff 1] : its nothing. ignore me
            i cant join our upcoming hang out
[bff 2]: Wtf..?
           U released a statement that I didnt know
[bff 1]: we'll hang out at mall right?
[bff 2]: ik but we are not confirming anything or when we will go right?
[bff 1]: we already confirmed everything last week
[bff 2]: I asked nyna and she said nothing. bff 3 too said nothing /sad emoticon/
[bff 1]: Oh we're not hanging out tomorrow then?
           Nyna will hanging out with ok-f tomorrow
[bff 2]: ...
          What
          Why i didnt know
          What is this
          Wow i feel betrayed
          Like should i really leave?
          Should I really do what you guys did to each other?
          Oh you know things are getting down once i speak english (uhh yes english is not our mothertongue weee)
          Am I really a side-kick, second option in your life?
          Your. I mean all of you.
          I've (tried) given my fullest attention
          Yet..
          Asdfghjkl
          I mean by you know, sulking and all those unnecessary drama thing.
          But my heart gets soften easily.
          I cant get mad at you (all of you) because I'm not someone who holds grudge
          If you think this is bull then dont reply. Or even wont help in making me feel better.

 

that people, thaaattttt. I tried to explain that its not like I'm ditching them to hang out with ok-f liek wtf you guys dont even confirm it yet. and nope, actually bff 2 dont even ask me about their plan. yes, she asked me then but it was before they confirm it. what i cant even understand what i wrote lol too much emotions in one go / urgh stress halp mehhhhh/ and i talk to bff 3;

[bff 3]: Okay nyna, I'll explain it to you
           bff 1 quareld with me, because of you.. because to her, you're just like a substitute to her old bff... she tried to befriended you and know you more than anyone else.. and I told her that you're not the one that favoring one over this 4 peoples, that you just dont stick to one person forever, and you befriending all of us, not just herself. And yes, it takes time to coax her, but i succeed nevertheless. and this bff 2, she's in rage because you hang out with ok-f without asking us join you. I dont really care, but when bff 1 told bff 2 about this, bff 2 just go all beserk. so, it means that it is really really your fault. but, I tried my best to defend you. oh forgive me bff 2 but I think i should not defend you. I told her the same reason, and why she need to angry that much, feel betrayed, whilst she dont even think about your feeling. I told her 'why did Nyna left #vp (it's our group whatsapp) ? yes this is reason.' bff 2 is still act like nothings wrong with you, right? urgh idek what the hell is wrong with you people. and back you up, but I also defended them sometimes.

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I CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND WITH THEM OMG WTF they dont even like the ok-friend though, and now she's angry with me because apparently I dont even consider their feeling and fragile heart to even bring them out with us (ok-friend and me) liek whud urgh. they, bff 2 especially, has been showing pure hatred toward ok-f and they always bickering around and now wat? okay so its all my fault now? WAT IS DIS I CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND THEM URGH (oh i repeated this word again lol) for the nth time, its not like I'm f ditching them to go out with ok-f. they dont even give me the exact date to go out urgh asdfghjkl;;;; /pulling my hair to bald/

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and bff 4 dont even know the plan. liek whud bff 1 and 2 said they will tell bff 4 about this plan. like. whud? oh em gee my head spinnin round i cant think straight halp meh.

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and i dont even start ranting about how possessive bij is bff 1 urgh fml kbai my friends gonna sleep my headache off chiaaaaa.

 

 

 

 ONE DAY SHE PULL ME PUT OF CLASS AND ASK ME TO STAY BACK AFTER SCHOOL BECAUSE APPARENTLY SHE HAVE TO SORT THINGS WITH ME, AND WHEN ITS TIME SHE ASKED ME "HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?" I CANT EVEN HIDE MY CRINGING FACE AND I WAS LIKE OMG DID SHE JUST ASK ME THAT WAT WAT WAT and just so you know imma not the one who show affection, and if I did, I did it in the playful way, not in the serious way urgh SO BECAUSE I JUST UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS QUESTION I TURN MY BACK AND SAID QUIETLT YET QUICKLY "TO THE MOON AND BACK" JUST TO SATISFY HER, BUT SHE JUST HAVE TO MAKE ME CRINGED EVEN MORE SHE PULL ME TO FACE HER AND ASK ME WAT WAS THAT, AND I SAID NO I WILL NOT REPEAT THAT AND SHE NONSTOP PURSUING ME SO I shyly SAID BACK THE WORDS AND SHE LET OU THIS SATISFIED SMILE, LIKE WHEN YOUR BOY ASK YOU OUT AND YOU SAID YES— uhh something like that yeah— AND SHE WHISPER TO ME I REPEAT WHISPER TO ME idek why she need to whisper to me when there's not even people there omg i got goosebump by just thinking about it sorry not sorry bff 1 SO SHE SAID OKAY I'LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. I'M JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU USE THE PIC OF BFF 2 AND U AS YOUR WALPAPER AND I WAS LIEK WHAT. THE. . you only pull me back just because of that omg im late to to go home and to my bed just because to hear this, this, this idk this thang omG

and this is only 1/10 of her possessiveness toward me i cry halp meh

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