Okay, I feel like I need to rant somewhere and this is the best place really. So just bear with me, okay?

I have one guy friend. One. The only guy that I have ever called friend. He's in my french class, he's tall and weird and really sweet.

We get along perfectly, I really like talking to him, and he makes me laugh. We hang out a lot more than I do with my girl friends. We watch movies at the cinema, we hang around in town, we even went out for pizza today. I feel closer to him than with any other friend, and even if I can be harsh and very sarcastic, he just jokes back and smiles. 

My problem number 1 is that I've never really been in love, so I have no idea if I'm actually crushing on him. But I know I really like him, and that he's cute, and that I don't want to lose him. I've never had a real boyfriend, or a real first kiss, or anything, and I'm scared. I'm 18 years old, and scared of love, and there's 14 year olds having and drinking all around me. Is there something wrong with me?

Porblem number 2, he has a girlfriend. She's one year younger, really sweet and reminds me a lot about myself. They've been together for a little more than 6 months I think. I've met her a couple of times and I really like her. We make fun of him and have a great time. But I can't help but feel bad that I may be crushing on her boyfriend.

What is my life. I feel like I'm in a drama or something, only I don't get the happy ending. What the hell am I supposed to do?